Unexpected surprises
I paced back and forth in anxiousness. She was hurt, brutally hurt. And I was helpless. Helpless as I ever could be. I wanted to pacify her, console her, pull her in my embrace. I wanted to feel the soothing effect she brought, that spread tranquility through me.
“Sameer--”
“Munna, please! If you’re here to defend me, please go away. I don’t want you to defend me when we all know I am the reason behind her pain.” I lashed out.
“Sameer, you did not do it on purpose...so please don’t torture yourself…” Munna attempted once more.
“Torture? What about the way she has been torturing herself? Tormenting herself to death? Have you seen her condition? It’s as if her soul left her body. She’s in unbearable pain, but her lips refuse to voice out. Her eyes scream to cry, but her tears have dried up. Her skin reflects the pain she’s given herself...because of me! I can’t see her like this….I can’t.” A tear escaped my eyes.
“You really love her, don’t you?” He smiled a surprised one.
“L-love? No...I don’t love her.” I denied immediately, looking away.
“Yes you do, Sameer. Or else you wouldn’t’ve felt her pain. You wouldn’t’ve been able to comprehend her unsaid words. You wouldn’t’ve understood her the way you do, Sameer.”
“That’s where I have failed, Munna. I’ve failed to understand her. And I committed the biggest mistake of my life; losing her, my best friend.” My hands curled into fists and I banged them against the wall in rage.
“Sameer! What are you doing?!” He grew appalled seeing blood oozing out of my right hand. My knuckles had reddened, yet the pain failed to reach my heart and mind.
I brushed my hand out of his grasp as he reprimanded, “Sameer...are you mad?!”
“I deserve this, Munna….much more than this!”
“This is not the way to repent, Sameer. You have to face--”
“I can’t face her, Munna. I can’t see the pain in her eyes, again…”
“How will he, he can’t even take her name in front of us!” Pandit, who had been silent all this while, spoke.
“Look Sameer, I know I’m at fault too. I shouldn’t’ve burst out in happiness the way I did...and I’m really sorry.” He looked down in shame.
“You don’t have to be, Pandit. I’m more at fault than you….I broke her heart, her trust on Love.”
“You have to face her, Sameer.” Pandit rested his hand on my shoulder.
“How do I…?”
“Follow your heart, Sameer.” Munna advised, bringing a soft smile on all our lips.
…
That very spot brought back so many unforgettable memories. Memories of her standing by the balcony, dreamily gazing at me. Her stammers at our sudden closeness, her shyness, the way she reddened at my comments, our blank calls. Everything played in my mind like a dream. My heart was finally easing. And that’s when those moments flashed in front of me. My atrocious nature, the ugly bet, her tears that set my heart on fire, her bruises that killed a part of me. My bruised hand received a redder mark as I banged it again. I was standing right in front of her house, shivering by the phone booth. It wasn’t the growling wind that intimidated me, but her reaction to my presence. I didn’t want to cause her any more pain than I already had. Slowly and hesitantly, my fingers dialled the numbers. The numbers that came to my remembrance automatically. The numbers that had introduced me to the sweetest voice ever. The numbers that changed my life.
“Hello?” Her voice quivered amidst sobs. She had been trying to cry herself to sleep, just like she had been for the past four days. I heaved a shivering sigh, unable to form any words.
“Sameer?” To my utter shock, she recognized me.
“N-naina?” I took her name with fear in my voice.
She was about to hang up when I interrupted, “Please don’t hang up, Naina.” I heard her take a deep breath, waiting for me to continue.
“How is your hand?” I asked, worried.
“It’s fortunate enough to not have suffered the cruel wrath of yours, unlike my heart, Sameer.” Her words scraped my heart into pieces. I tried to speak before she intervened.
“What do you want, Sameer?” Her voice turned ice cold, lifeless.
“I no longer have the right to demand, Naina. I can only plead for forgiveness.”
“Don’t try to flatter me, Sameer. Your words have no effect on me anymore.”
“My words did have an effect on you?” I asked, amazed.
“You had an effect on me, Sameer. An effect I considered so beautiful. An effect you proved to be the worst.” Her serene voice lashed out at me.
“Naina...can you hear me out, just once?”
“I don’t repeat mistakes, Sameer.”
“Naina, just hear me out once--” She had hung up, leaving me defeated.
I slumped to the ground, eyes not shifting from her balcony.
“How could you do this to me, Naina? How could you so easily put the blame on me?” I was speaking to no one in particular, looking for something to vent my anger out at. I almost got suspended from school, if Nanaji hadn’t arrived in time. Not that I cared much about academics anyways. But I had assumed she had faith on me. I trusted her, thinking she reciprocated it too. How could she accuse me of stealing exam papers?! Would I stoop so low just to prove myself to my so-called ‘father’? I knew I was weak when it came to studies, and cricket had given up on me too. But I was true to myself. I wasn’t scared of hard work. And I thought she believed that. I thought she believed me…
The unexpected rainfall wasn’t being too helpful either, for I had no tears to shed. She had just proved my theory right, the theory my heart was too adamant on proving wrong, the theory my mind always retorted about being correct. This world never lived on faith. It was merely a word read in novels and taught in schools. Just part of an ‘ideal society’. Where people hesitated to trust their family members, how could I expect the same from a classmate, a girl whom I had started considering my friend? How could I get swayed away so easily?
“Look who’s here! The hero--or should I say the zero of our school!” A taunting voice appeared with a sly smirk.
“Naina Agarwal, the typical old-fashioned girl managed to get him roasted! How sad...are you okay, Sameer?” Another voice in mock worry reached my ears. A few raucous laughs followed, igniting the anger in me.
“Look at this, Sameer Maheshwari is at a loss of words! He--”
“Shut up!” They had successfully provoked me to an extent where there was no turning back.
“Calm down, Sameer. How long will you stop us, how long will you hide your own defeat. The fact that you lost to a mere nerdy girl--”
“I have not! I’m saying this again, don’t mess with me!”
“Oh c’mon Sameer. We all know you haven’t cheated on the exams.” My eyes shot up, flabbergasted.
“But there’s the loophole. Only we know you haven’t stolen the exam papers. Not the teachers, not the Principal, not even Naina!” One of the boys boasted with a sly smile.
“And don’t expect us giving in either!” Another peeped in, agitating me further.
“You’re a spoilt, good-for-nothing kid, Sameer Maheshwari!” The same words. The same retort. His taunt echoed in my head, reviving horrible memories wished to be forgotten. These boys had just pierced through unhealed wounds.
“You are going to pay for this!” I gritted through my teeth. My voice was like the calm before a storm; anger suppressed under soberness.
“Don’t mistake us, Sameer, but we’re not the only enemies here!” I could sense a slight tinge of fear in his voice, as my lips curved into a slow smirk.
“I’m known for my loyalty in friendships, and better known for my loyalty in enmity. Don’t you worry, for you and Naina are soon going to get a taste of your own medicine.”
“Oohh...I’m getting scared, Sameer!” They cooed sarcastically.
“Oh yeah, you should be. Because I’ll prove the unbelievable to you. Naina Agarwal will confess her love for me in just two months.” I declared, shocking them.
They composed themselves before I could widen my grin as one spoke, “What’s the fun in a win-win situation? We can’t let you go if you fail to stick by your words…”
“What do you mean?” My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“Naina’s love confession or your precious hair!” They announced upon minutes of pondering upon. Anxiousness grew as they waited for my response.
“Challenge accepted!”
My anger had gotten the worst out of me that day for I had committed the stupidest mistake of my life; a challenge to hurt Naina. Hope still flickered within as I gazed at her balcony. My lips quivered at the night chilliness, but I wasn’t ready to budge. Not unless she accepted my apology.
Hope still flickered within. She would come, just once. And then she did.
My heart jolted alive with anticipation as I sensed a restless soul staring at me intensely. My eyes shot up to a tear stained face.
And that’s when my heart dropped.
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