Chapter 5:- Brutal Goodbyes

Oh how I wish I hated love...

“Sameer, you’re late again! Where were you?” I reprimanded at him as he hesitantly entered the library, with a sheepish grin on his face.

“I..um..” He stopped, slowly looking at me. I waited for him to justify.

“Sameer…” I asked again after a few seconds of silence.

“Actually, Munna needed some help--regarding homework--so…” He left his sentence incomplete. I scrutinized my gaze at him, totally unconvinced.

“Yeah, ‘cause Munna would come to you for ‘school’ related work.” I emphasized on the word ‘school’ sarcastically.

He looked away, knowing his excuses weren’t working.

“What’s wrong, Sameer?” I asked again, worried. He was the carefree one, who cheered everyone up. However today, he seemed tensed, which was pretty unusual. I hadn’t talked to him much until the day when he came up to me for help. Our exams were coming up, and he had the desire to prove himself to the world. He wasn’t on good terms with his parents, which made him determined. The butterflies in my stomach--the ones that never existed until he came into my life--jumped in excitement when he had first talked to me. The silly smile I wore on my face refused to rub off and I couldn’t meet his gaze.

It had only been a few days, but I was experiencing a new side of him everyday. Sameer Maheshwari was much more than just a spoilt lazy boy; in fact, he seemed to be the complete opposite.

“Actually…” He hesitated.

“Sameer, tell me.” I requested, rubbing my hands against each other. Had I done something wrong?

“Munna...has developed...a liking...for Swati.” He revealed, making my eyes widen in shock.

“What?!” He was probably expecting my bewilderment, so he held his hands up in surrender.

“Woah, calm down, Naina. See, that’s why I wasn’t too sure about telling you.” He reasoned with a shrug.

I composed myself and said, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, Munna likes Swati.” It took me a few seconds to digest what he had so simply said.

“And y-you’re helping him?” I stammered, hesitantly looking up in his eyes.

“Well yeah, for two reasons.” He shrugged, shuffling his hair. I waited for him to continue.

“One, he’s one of my best friends. And Sameer Maheshwari is always loyal to his friends.” He beamed, with a wide grin on his face.

I felt a sense of pride settle inside me. “And the other reason?” I questioned shyly.

“I always support love…” He whispered huskily. His eyes darkened and my heart leaped in my throat. He slowly started to close the distance between us by taking hesitant steps towards me. The butterflies I had presumed to not exist, erupted frivolously. The hope I had suppressed made its way back stronger than before. My lips curved into a slow smile as I looked away, shy.

“Don’t you?” He asked with a smirk on his face.

“Huh?” I stared clueless.

“Don’t you believe in Love? Wouldn’t you have supported Swati; or anyone for that matter, if they would’ve confessed to you about falling in love?”

I pondered over his questions, relating them to my own life. Sameer and I did not have a pleasant start; after all we were poles apart. However, when he had extended his hand for friendship, my happiness had known no bounds. I wasn’t only surrounded by ecstasy, but considered myself so lucky to have a friend I admired. He lived life in the total opposite way to mine and yet--

“Naina?” A snap brought me out of my thoughts.

My lips quivered as I murmured, “I don’t know, Sameer. I’m not as courageous as you.” I dubiously lifted my gaze.

“I’ve been brought up in a conservative family where a girl seldom has a say in matters. My dreams aren’t guaranteed to be fulfilled, and I have a pre-planned future, where it’s incredibly hard to make changes.” A lone tear escaped my eye.

“It’s not that I don’t believe in Love. I consider it very significant, Sameer. Above any other emotion. Love isn’t just a word, but an emotion filled with memorable experiences. Instances that change you completely. A person who shows you an entirely different perspective of life and assures you a future of togetherness.” I noticed his eyes wetten a little.

“But not everyone shares the same belief, right? Not in my family, at least. I am already considered a burden; after all what else would a girl without a mother be called?” A few more tears joined in, making me sob.

“I’m too introvert, Sameer. I’m unable to make many friends, but when I do, I support them till the very end. If Swati confesses her love for Munna, I would support her, no matter what. I would try every bit to make her love story a successful one, because I know the value of Love. Who else would know better than me, who is constantly retorted by her family members about “not being made for Love”?

I looked up at him, to find him reciprocate the tears I had. His eyes glistened, and he looked away, unable to face me. A long silence followed.

“I’m sorry...I think I spoke a bit too much…”  

“I’ll always support you, Naina.” His words caught my attention. I frowned, trying to hide the hope that had ignited.

“I’ll always be by your side, Naina.”

“Naina?” A familiar voice made me gulp, as I hastily wiped the tears. My lips curved inward in a thin line as I gritted. How gullible had I been to have believed each and every word of his.

“Naina?” He repeated, making his way through several book stands to the window I was standing against.

“Are you o-okay?” He stammered, referring to my bruised hand.

I took a deep breath and brought a smile to my face, “Better than ever before.”

“Why can’t you meet my gaze now, Sameer Maheshwari?”

“I would like to apologize…” His voice wavered.

“For what, may I ask? For proving my family’s words on Love right? For opening my eyes to the harsh reality? For showing me dreams and immediately shattering them? For showing your fake concern for me? Or for betraying me?!” I shouted, eyes burning in anger. Long had the tears dried up.

“Naina, I’m sorry--”

“Two words cannot make up for two months of betrayal, Sameer Maheshwari.”

“You know what, thank you! Thank you for showing me where I really belong. Far away from Love! People consider it a blessing but you have very artfully made it a curse for me. Thank you for that!”

“I thought you would change…” I stuttered.

“I thought you would realize what you were doing...but you never understood me, Sameer! Never cared about my feelings, about my first love! That’s why you continued to plot against me! Are you content now? You finally got revenge, isn’t this why you befriended a boring, old fashioned girl? Are you happy that she, that once held the pride of being the topper student of her class, now has been bashed brutally? Are you satisfied knowing that I don’t believe in Love anymore? Smile now, Sameer! Celebrate your victory!”

“Naina, please…” He tried.

“No...I can’t, Sameer. Not anymore. You’ve given me enough, I won’t be able to tolerate any more happiness. Thank you for making me hate love!” With that, I stormed off, killing a part of myself.