Chapter 2 - Slipping Away

 Holding on to the one person you thought would never leave

Ved knew something was amiss the minute Umaira refused to meet his eye. When she discreetly wiped a tear off her cheek, his brows furrowed in confusion and wondered what had hurt her so out of the blue. They were only playing a game, and he hadn’t said anything wrong by interrupting Rajat, right? Perhaps terming Umaira as a sister may have been a little overboard, but he had only intended it with humor. It was only logical.

  Yes, they hung out often. Yes, he shared every secret with her. Yes, he cared about her, and it made a difference to him whether she was happy or not. But good friends felt that way too; it didn’t imply love. Ved refused to associate with an emotion that gave him nothing but bitter pain. He shuddered at the probable consequences. She was eight years younger to him, not to forget, of a different faith too. The differences between them were enough to raise eyebrows. No matter how frequently his feelings teetered over the edge, Ved had somehow managed to keep himself in check. Friendship was a familiar territory, a safe zone. And it was their friendship that he sensed was in danger.

He found her peering beyond the parapet of the terrace, her arms outstretched, her waist-long hair flying with the wind. Tonight, she had on a peach-colored tee with denim jeans. She had her back to him, and yet, he couldn’t not admire her. She was the one of the very few women he knew who didn’t bother about keeping up with fashion trends. He could see it each time her traditional nose ring remained a constant with every outfit she donned. Umaira was the most tenacious woman he knew. Her stance for what she deemed right never wavered. He had seldom seen her cry, so watching her weaken today made him ache in some uncanny way.

Ved slowly walked up to her and stood beside Umaira. She seemed lost in thought, and yet, he could trace the faint marks of her tears. His hands begged to caress her face, to provide whatever solace he could, but his mind stopped him. It wouldn’t be appropriate. Instead, he settled for clearing his throat to make himself known to her.

Tersely, Umaira straightened and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Ved! I didn’t realize you were here.”

He shrugged in understanding. “That’s ‘cause you were too busy thinking about something else.”

“How’d you know I was here?” She frowned.

His lips curved into a mischievous grin before tugging at her shoulder. “It’s our escape place. When I couldn’t find you at the bonfire, I knew you’d be here.”

Umaira nodded, shifting her gaze to the lighted skyline beyond her. The air shivered around her as it strung the faint whiff of his cologne. It was feelings like these that reminded her of happy endings in love stories. She’d gushed over it in books, she’d swooned over it in movies. And here they were, witnessing another night that had only turned pathetic for her. Her insides grimaced. 

“You’re upset.” Ved noticed. 

“I’m fine.” She negated instantly. 

Judging by the coldness of her tone, he could sense otherwise. 

“Are you offended by what Rajat said? It was a silly, stupid question and he shouldn’t have--”

“Ved,” Umaira placated his rant with one hand on his arm/ “I’m not upset about Rajat.”

“But you are upset,” He noted. She sighed in response, then turned to him. Umaira had never been able to lie to Ved. Today, it felt like a curse.

“I am, but it’s nothing to worry about.” She deflected.

He gently rested his hands on her shoulders. “You were crying, Umaira. Something is troubling you, and I want to know what it is.”

“Why?”

“Because I hate seeing you hurt. You deserve happiness and nothing less.” His words tugged at her heart, making her swallow a lump in her throat. 

Why was he like this, all soft and gentle and loving when he considered her nothing more than a friend? Why did he make it so difficult for her to get over him? She knew he wasn’t going to relent until he got answers, so she formed a story in her head.

“It’s my friend, actually.” Her voice had already started to quiver.

“Riya?” He questioned.

“No, another friend of mine. You don’t know her.” She turned to clutch the ledge of the parapet.

“If she has hurt you, I don’t even want to.” Ved chastised with emotion, startling her. But then his tone turned saucy. “But if she hasn’t and she’s single, you can pass me her number.”

She rolled her eyes at the comment. Ved Sehgal was the ultimate flirt, something she found both adoring and annoying about him. Tonight, it only hurt her. The man standing in front of her, found every woman attractive, but her. 

How pathetic was that?

“Look, if you’re going to be irritating about it, I don’t even wanna talk.” Umaira turned to leave when his hand wrapped around her wrist. She stuttered in her breath as Ved apologized with sincerity. “Hey, I’m sorry Umaira. I’ll behave, I promise.” 

He spoke with so much innocence, her heart swelled in her chest. She tried to remain indifferent as she walked up to the edge of the white-walled, gardened terrace again.

“So, this girl, your friend…” Ved urged, playing with one of the geranium pots, hanging against the thirty-inch parapet.

Umaira heaved a sigh before resuming. “She likes this guy. She’s probably in love with him.” Her voice cracked at the end, and she hoped Ved hadn’t taken notice. 

“Does the guy know?” He asked, perching his elbows on the ledge.

Umaira shook her head, still not meeting his eye. “Before she could tell him about her feelings, she found out that he doesn’t feel that way. He’s never seen her as more than a friend.” A tear slipped past the corner of her eye and then another. Her voice wavered and her resolve crumbled as Umaira tried so hard to stay strong. 

Stupid emotions, always getting in the way.

Sensing her tears, Ved tensed and didn’t think twice before taking her in his arms. 

“Hey. It’s okay…” 

Seeing someone as strong-willed as Umaira break down appalled him. He knew how loyal she was to her friends, how much they mattered to her. Perhaps this was what she needed right now, some consolation from a friend. And he would give it to her, no questions asked.

Umaira wrapped her arms around his waist, soaking in the comfort and warmth he always gave. 

“And now my friend wants advice on what to do and I’ve got no clue on what to say to her.” She spoke between whimpers.

She buried her face in his chest, indirectly confessing her feelings to the one person she was no longer allowed to. Ved didn’t feel that way towards her, Umaira had realized tonight. And she didn’t want to burden him with guilt by telling him.

Ved’s hands began to caress her back, soothing her insides. She closed her eyes in peace, basking in every sensation of being close in his proximity. Proximity he wouldn’t allow if he were to find out about her love for him. He started humming the tune of a song she absolutely disliked and swayed her in a childlike motion. His actions brought a smile to her face. She gently punched Ved in the chest, evoking a light-hearted chuckle from him. When Umaira quietened and tried to retreat, he kept his arms locked around her waist. She raised her head to meet his eye, her arms still in place around his torso as well.

She quietly sniffed as Ved began to speak. “You wanna hear my advice?”

How ironic was it to seek advice from the one person who unknowingly broke her heart? Regardless, she nodded in affirmation.

“I feel sorry for your friend.” He started.

“Sorry?” Umaira balked at his sympathy.

“I’m sorry that she fell in love with a guy who doesn’t love her back. It shouldn’t be that way. Love should be complete; like the way they show in movies.” Ved explained. 

Umaira marveled at his words, then grimaced at its grim reality.

“Well, such is life,” She breathed with a dejected sigh.

“Which is why I don’t like indulging in complicated emotions like love.” He spoke with distaste, and her heart fell deeper into the pit of her stomach. 

“My friend didn’t think of that.” Umaira reminded him.

He bent his head once more, meeting her eye. “It’s not her fault she fell in love.”

“Isn’t it?”

Shaking his head, he pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. Her earlobe tingled as she flinched nervously. Ved instantly retreated, wondering whether he had breached their zone of friendship. He settled for holding her hands as he spoke. “I think she should move on. She should try to find her happiness elsewhere.”

“It’s not easy, y’know?”

“You say it as if you know. Umaira, have you fallen in love before?” His brows furrowed in attention. 

She passed a mirthless chuckle. “Nope. I haven’t been that fortunate.”

“You’ll find love soon.” Ved promised with a determined smile.

Umaira tilted her head to one side. “Oh yeah? And how are you so sure?”

“Because you’re made for love. No one can resist loving someone as beautiful and warm hearted as you.” Her breath hitched at his words while his deep black orbs bored into her light brown ones. The intensity was too strong, a little too much to handle.

Her mind reminded her of their topic of discussion. “And my friend?” Umaira barely whispered.

“There’s so much more to life than a one-sided love story. She can’t bind the guy to her when he doesn’t love her back. It won’t be fair. She’ll have to move on.” Ved suggested. 

“I know.” She nodded, her knees wobbling. 

Biting back tears, Umaira turned to leave–leave Ved and the future she had hoped to live– behind. But she wavered in her step, unable to distance herself from him. She had to tell him how important he was in her life. How grateful she felt every single day for having a friend like him. Umaira turned on her heel where Ved stood, a few steps away but eyes stagnant in her direction.

“Ved...” She began softly, her hands trembling and heart tightening. “You’re one in a million.”

His eyes softened, basking in the warmth as he replied. “Wouldn’t have been without you, Umaira.”

“Ved! You’re one in a million!” His boss, Prakash Mahajan praised his recent reports on the Delhi investigation, breaking his reverie. 

He was a stout old man, early in his fifties. Specks of gray hair had begun to dawn over his head, a shade similar to the walls of the conference room they were in. Prakash Mahajan was an ambitious man, who had brought the company to new heights. His three-piece tailored suit seldom had wrinkles, and his paunch was only ever visible. His authority and confidence sparked Ved’s admiration for his boss.

“Thank you, Sir. Wouldn’t have been without your guidance.” He politely thanked.  

From the corner of his eye, he watched Umaira’s eyes sparkle with pride as the entire team clapped for him. She may have stood only meters across from him, but he hadn’t felt farther apart from her. The second his eyes met hers, the sparkle turned austere. Ved drew out a frustrated breath, desperate to know the reason behind her peculiar behavior today. He could handle the usual fights, but not this. Because this felt like it’d result in something neither of them would’ve wanted.

----------

Ved walked up to Umaira’s cubicle, determined to make things work. Today had been exceptionally horrible, solely because Umaira refused to talk to him. After their heated dispute in the car, she had intentionally ignored him every minute for the following three hours. It was a little after eight in the evening, and everyone had nearly cleared out of the office for the day. Umaira had been pushing binders and files from her rectangular wooden desk into her work bag when he spotted her.

She was the first to acknowledge him this time. “Ved.”

He tried to keep his emotions in check. “Yeah, it’s me.”

Umaira could sense the tension in his voice but remained cool. “What brings you here?”

His jaw tightened and he succinctly answered. “Our argument.”

She brushed off the matter with a wave of hand and resumed to file her belongings into her messenger bag. “It was just a silly fight, Ved. I’ve forgotten about it, and I think you should too.”

He would have, had he not sensed something off about her this time. “You never answered my question. You never told me the truth, Umaira.”

“I have my reasons. Stop going after something that doesn’t concern you.” She quipped in annoyance.

“You’d be a fool to think something that’d bother you wouldn’t bother me, Umaira!” He slammed with frustration.

“Why, Ved? It’s not like I’m your girlfriend!” She threw her arms in exasperation, wanting to get out more than anything else. 

Ved immediately quietened at her question. His brain froze while his heart pounded in his chest. Umaira saw all signs of color drain from his face and realization settled deep within her. She hadn’t meant to bare open her heart in front of him. This was why she was trying so hard to keep her distance, to keep things professional between them. Because Umaira did not like regretting, and this was something she knew she’d regret.

Before Ved could compose himself and say something to her, he heard a familiar sound emanate from her phone and grew alarmed. His eyes widened and something crushed within him when he recognized the source of the notification.

“You’re on Tinder?!” He hadn’t meant for his question to come out as more of an accusation, but Ved couldn’t care more about that right now.

Stiffening at his words, Umaira forced herself to relax. She hadn’t committed a sin. She could handle this and his series of questions.

So, she picked up her phone and with a casual giggle she chirped. “Yeah, Riya installed it on my phone today.”

“Why?”

Umaira met his eye, watching them darken with an emotion she had rarely seen before. “I told her I wanted to try dating. She said this was the perfect way.”

His hands gripped her arm as he pulled her to him. “You can’t date.”

Umaira freed herself from his clutch with equal force as she bit back. “You can’t tell me what to do!”

Ved’s heart deflated, and he stuttered. “Why are you doing this to me?”

Her gaze softened at his vulnerability, and she took a deep breath before turning indifferent to him. “Not everything I do revolves around you, Ved. I’m doing this for myself.”

She couldn’t hide from his prying gaze, no matter how much she fiddled with her files and belongings. “You were never too keen on dating, Umaira. You wanted to establish your career first.”

She cursed herself for sharing every single detail of her life with him. Over the course of their friendship, she had shared her career aspirations with him too. She wanted to strengthen herself as a reporter and earn enough money for her family and her dreams. Hopefully one day, she wanted to open her own dance studio. Umaira always stood wary at the idea of casual dating. And now, she hated that he knew her better than herself.

“Yeah well, priorities change.” She gave a nonchalant shrug.

“I didn’t know two months would change you so much, Umaira.”

“Stop being so dramatic, Ved.” She rolled her eyes. 

“Stop pretending, Umaira.” He lashed back.

“I’m not pretending! But it would be nice of you to at least be a little supportive.” She finally raised her head to meet his eyes.

“Support what? This stupid dating mission you’re on?”

“If I finally want to spend some time and share my life with someone, you should be happy.”

“But you already have someone to do all of that with, Umaira. I’m here for you.”

“No. You’ve found someone else, Ved. You’ve found Trisha.” Her voice cracked at the mention of his girlfriend. 

His jaw slackened, his next allegation prepared to hit her with full force. “Is this what this is about? Me and Trisha? Are you jealous, Umaira?!”

The ache was no less than a punch in the face. Jealousy, that’s what the burning sensation was when she saw Ved wrap his arms around his girlfriend. But he couldn’t have known, it wasn’t possible. Because if Ved could’ve identified her feelings today, he wouldn’t have been oblivious to her feelings for him all along.

This was just a way to provoke her, she knew.

She took a deep breath.

 “Like I’ve said before, Ved. The world and my decisions don’t revolve around you. I want to date for my happiness. I want someone I can share my days with, someone I can go home to.”

“You think that’s what guys look for when they join Tinder?” He scoffed.

“I know what I’m looking for. And I know how to differentiate between people, Ved.” With that she prepared to leave, slipping her work bag over her right shoulder.

“Most of them are only after sex, Umaira.”

Turning at his words, she watched his gaze turn lethal. “I’m not naive, Ved. And I never objected to a physical relationship.”

His face fell from a loss of emotion as Ved forced himself away from the suggestions her words carried. 

“I thought you wanted love.”

Two months ago, she believed in it. But now, she didn’t care. Umaira didn’t blame Ved for not reciprocating the feeling, but only herself for feeling this way. It was time she moved on from the overrated emotion that gave her nothing but sorrow.

“Love is only a deception that ends with heartbreak. I’d rather stay away from that than get ruined by it.”

And with these words, she left, leaving him with more questions than answers.