Chapter 20:- Once Again

History decides to repeat itself 

Breathless.

That’s how she made me feel. Her hands pulling my hair, her lips on mine. Rough yet gentle. Spreading warmth through my insides yet shivers down my back. It felt too surreal to be true. I tightened my grasp around her waist, assuring myself more than her of this moment. It was true. After three years of longingness and desperation, I finally had her in my arms. I finally became worthy of her. 

I was finally living again.

She broke the kiss amidst gasps, her erratic heartbeat echoing in my ears. Her eyelids fluttered downwards, her cheeks flushed, a soft smile on her lips, as if reliving the moment. I remained rooted to my spot, taking in her radiant form. Within seconds, she seemed to have found her bearings, for she began fumbling with the buttons of my shirt. I cupped her warm face in my hands, lifting it so that I could meet her gaze. Her orbs had dilated in the heat of this moment, but there remained a tinge of insecurity, a little hesitation.

“Naina…” I whispered, unable to control the huskiness of my voice. She blushed further, lowering her gaze yet again. 

“Is this what you want? Right now?” I softly drew circles on her cheek with the pad of my thumb. She raised her eyes once again, her lips swollen yet quivering.

It took a moment before she answered, “It’s what you want.”

It wasn’t a question. It was the absolute truth. I wanted nothing more to give in to the desires. But no one mattered more to me than her.

“I want to go slow.” I murmured back, barely audible to myself. 

Her eyes softened in gratitude as a smile broke on her face. She reached for my hands and clutched them, letting me know how happy she was. A sigh of relief spread across her face as she rested her head against my shoulder.

“I love you, Sameer Maheshwari.” She whispered, making my heart soar in happiness.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment.” I confessed, breathing in the softness of her hair.

She retreated to look at me once again. Caressing my cheek with her hand, her eyes glistened as she spoke, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you.”

I leaned into her touch, unable to form any words to match her loving stare. “I love you, Naina Agarwal.”

Her immediate embrace had been sudden, but special nonetheless. She wrapped her arms around me as I held her firmly, not letting her go. Never again.

“You truly are a great kisser.” I spoke with a hint of mischief.

She shuddered at my comment as I aimlessly swirled my fingers across her back.

“I could say the same about you.” Her snarky comment left me speechless. 

Just when I thought I knew her inside out, she’d bring out a different shade, making me fall for her deeper than ever. 

“Well, I’ve got the experience.” I instantly regretted it the moment she stiffened in my arms, tersely conscious of herself.

I drew back and held her face when she looked away.

“Just the experience. Never the feelings.” I elaborated.

“Sameer--”

“You’ve brought out the love in me I never knew existed, Naina. And the love is only for you. Unconditional, uncontrollable, undeniable. Just for you.”

She melted into my arms, “You’re still too good with words.” 

I smirked at her, feeling so grateful for having her with me, “You just bring it out in me.”

----------

“This tea is still by far the best tea I’ve ever had.” I relished its aroma once again before sipping on it. 

She playfully scoffed on the chair across mine, “it’s not like you normally drink tea. You’re more of a--”

“A coffee person.” I completed, elated to know she remembered.

“I was going to say alcohol, but…” She smirked, leaving her sentence hanging in the air.

I feigned being hurt, “Ouch. That is not true.” 

“When did I say it was?” Naina sported a look of mischief. 

“Which reminds me, care to share the truth? About Swati?”

She fidgeted silently before taking a deep breath to regain her composure. “Just a difference of opinion. She and I had a fight that could not be resolved and we just drifted apart.” She shrugged.

Her nonchalance seemed unfathomable, totally out of character. Naina wasn’t someone who would let go so easily. Especially when it concerned her best friend.

I scrunched my brows in suspicion as I repeated, “So you both had a fight?”

“Yes.” She murmured dejectedly, her face resting on her right hand. I pulled out a chair opposite hers and turned it so that I could fold my arms on its top rail.

I shrugged casually, still beaming with excitement of our upcoming Mount Abu trip, “Big deal, girls always fight.” 

She glowered at me, her lips austerely curved inwards into a thin line. I raised my hands in defense, mouthing a ‘sorry’ as I muttered to myself, “Bad timing.”

Clearing my throat, I tried again, “So, what happened?”

She fidgeted with her hands before explaining, “We got into an argument about…” She halted for a second and breathed, “...something. I said things that hurt her feelings. I didn’t mean to, but…”

She looked away in guilt while I debated hovering my hand over hers in assurance. Deciding otherwise, I advised, “Why don’t you apologize? There’s nothing a ‘sorry’ can’t fix.”

Her frown deepened as she sighed, “She’s not willing to talk to me anymore. Seeing her in tears, it broke my heart.”

Something pierced through me at seeing her so miserable. I found the urge to do anything to lift her mood.

“Don’t worry, you can try patching things up with her on our trip.”

She shook her head meticulously before confessing, “She no longer wants to come. If she won’t, I won’t either.”

The infamous cacophony of our school cafeteria grew silent with her words. I gulped in tremor as I realized; my plan would backfire if Naina refused to come. I would lose the bet, and I couldn’t do that, not at any cost. 

“C’mon Naina…” I attempted with derision to lighten the mood. “She won’t be able to resist a trip like Mount Abu. Give it some time, she’ll get over it.” Words flowed out incessantly as my brows arched in worry. Had I sounded convincing enough?

She huffed at my overconfidence, “I just can’t sit back and wait for her to ‘get over it’. She’s my best friend. She’s been with me through thick and thin. I can’t desert her like this. It hurts to see her hurt, Sameer. She’s too precious to just ‘give time’ to.”

I sat stunned at her outbreak, the admiration in my heart growing for her by a thousand times. She never failed to amaze me, just like she had yet again.

“Wow.” I whispered in fascination. “I never knew you valued your friendship with her so much.”

Her eyes softened while her shoulders sagged, “You’re not the only one then, I guess.”

“Oh trust me, you’re way ahead of me when it comes to handling friendships.” I scoffed at myself, my gaze on her lingering with genuine hope. 

“Not just friendship, every relationship is equally important, in my opinion. My family and my friends, my acquaintances and close ones, they have all had a role in shaping me the way I am today. I wouldn’t be like this if it weren’t for them. And friends...they’re the family you choose, they’re the people who willingly stay with you. How could I just let them go...without even trying?”

I continued to gaze at her while her smile grew distant, as if reliving old memories. She chuckled to herself before turning to me, instantly blushing under my stare. She took out her steel tiffin box and passed it across the wooden table. Her brows lifted at me, ushering me to open it. I recognized it without opening the lid as I smiled to myself. And there it was, ‘Gobhi ke paranthe’.

“These are by far the best ‘Gobhi ke paranthe’ I’ve ever had!” I praised her as she giggled in glee.

“You should thank Chachiji for making them.” She pointed out. 

“I’m thanking you for sharing them with me.” Her cheeks brimmed with color at my words as I smirked in return.

Keeping the box in the middle, I watched her take a bite as I resumed eating.

“You’ll resolve this very soon, Naina. With a friend like you, no one can stay upset for long.” I reverted back to our conversation. 

She nodded knowingly before expressing, “Thank you for hearing me out, Sameer.”

I strung over the next few words before forming them into a question, “So...will you never give up on our friendship either?”

She grinned at my hesitation before confirming, “No matter what.”

“Nothing worked.” She sighed. 

I chuckled sardonically as she looked back at me, a frown on her face, “What?”

“You think I would believe that?” I asked incredulously.

She gulped at being caught as I continued, “The Naina I knew never gave up on her friends. She can’t possibly have changed so much in just three years.”

A lone tear escaped her eye as she gasped. I inched towards her and crouched below her, holding her hands that now trembled in her lap. 

“Do you trust me?” I asked.

Her glistening orbs lifted to meet mine as she shook her head. I hung my head in disappointment, more at myself than at her. No relationship could survive without trust. My mistakes were enough for her trust in me to waver, I understood that.

As I loosened my grip on her, she grasped it back, “I do. I just don’t trust myself enough to explain this in a way you would understand.”

How could she still think about me? About what I thought, how I would react? After all that I had done to her, how could she still put me over herself?

I shook my head in response, promising myself to never let her down anymore. “I will, Naina. I’ll always understand you. No matter what.”

She nodded in gratitude, biting her lip as I wiped the tears off her face. She intertwined her fingers through mine, assuring me of a future of togetherness. Things weren’t over yet. 

We still had a chance. 

“Sameer, I--” She began when the ring of her telephone interrupted. She straightened immediately as I saw worry spread across her face. I held her hands in mine before initiating, “I’ll get it.”

She was too broken at the moment, too vulnerable to face the world. She didn’t deserve to face the wrath of her barbaric father; not in this lifetime and definitely not right now.

I walked towards the telephone, grinning at the same sight. 

Some things hadn’t changed.

Shunning the incessant rings, I picked up the phone and held it to my ear. “Hello?”

Another male greeted on the other end, an uncannily familiar voice I couldn’t exactly recognize yet. It wasn’t her father, nor her uncle. In fact, the caller wasn’t from her family.

My heartbeat picked up pace as I waited for the stranger to say something more. 

Something was wrong. Utterly wrong. 

I could feel myself seeping towards the dark abyss. And yet I tried to convince myself. Naina and I were together. Things were finally falling into place. 

Nothing would go wrong now, right?

“May I speak to Naina Goenka?” The caller spoke as I loosened my grip on the receiver. The stranger probably got the wrong number. 

“I think you’ve got the wrong number.” I reasoned, releasing a breath I didn’t know I had held. 

“No, this is the right number. I dial it everyday. May you please pass on to Naina Goenka?” He countered, as my breath hitched. 

My voice sounded strained as I gulped, “May I know who this is?” 

From the corner of my eye, I could see Naina step towards me, asking for the identity of the caller.

The stranger finally responded, “I’m Rohit. Naina’s husband.”

The receiver fell from my hands, dangling from the cord as I let out a gasp. The world swirled around me as if belittling me in a condescending manner. I felt a similar pain jolt through my heart, a pain I knew too well. A pain I had been tormenting for the past three years.

“Sameer?” I looked at her, wondering who the actual stranger was. 

The woman who claimed to love me, who I loved irrevocably, or the man on the other end of the line who had taken my Naina from me, once again.

My steps faltered as my vision blurred, unable to keep the tears at bay. I cast a look towards her, in accusation or guilt, I couldn’t decipher yet.

Her look of bewilderment changed to one of shock as soon as I snarled, “You’re married?!” 

The hands that had held out to reach out to me fell back to her sides as her face dissolved of all color. That was all the answer I needed. I looked away, my shivering hand ruffling through my hair, my heart looking for ways to coerce my mind that this was just a bad dream. Nothing more.

“You’re married.” I stated blatantly. My eyes hovered over her for a long second, finally finding the silver band slid onto her ring finger I had so effortlessly ignored. I grunted in misery, unable to stop history from repeating itself.

She had confessed her love for me once again. 

She gave me hope once again. 

She shattered all those dreams once again. 

She decided to leave me once again. 

I had wronged her so much, that she decided I didn’t deserve a second chance. She moved on before I could accept the fact that we had broken up. That all we had between us were treacherous memories. Of pain. Hatred. Revenge. And the love lost in between it all. All we had was a broken future of togetherness.

My breath hitched as I slumped to the ground. A sob escaped my lips, followed by another. I couldn’t move, couldn’t understand, couldn’t speak. That’s exactly how she made me feel. 

Breathless.