Chapter 14:- Regretted Deceit

That one mistake in life which we're thankful for...somewhat. 

“Sameer, are you sure you want to do this?” Munna’s brows arched in worry.

“A hundred percent.” The smirk on my face made a comeback as I clutched my hands in revengeful glee.

“Stay shut, both of you!” A piece of chalk flew on their faces as JBR, our economics professor shouted, resulting to whispered chuckles. The troublesome trio as our class had named us; Sameer, Munna and Pandit had received their first warning within five minutes into class.

I looked over to find an impervious Naina jotting down notes aimlessly. Her head rested on one hand while the other scribbled incessantly on her notebook. Something seemed to bother her for there were creases on her forehead and anxiety in her tormented lips. And I had this intuition it wasn’t me.

“Okay class, pay attention now because I won’t be repeating myself again.” JBR’s stern voice echoed in class as he repeated himself.

“Your task is to prepare a research paper on the trends in inflation rates in the past 50 years. Analyze each fluctuation and credit to any of the factors in the external or internal environment discussed in class. You have the college library at your disposal for all the research you need; but make sure it’s handwritten; written in a manner comprehensible to me.” At the end of his second attempt at explaining, the class erupted into groans of frustration, while one austere voice asked a question that made us all despise her more, “JBR, when is this due?”

Anything could change except this very quality of Naina Agarwal.

“I like the enthusiasm, Naina Agarwal. Class, this assignment is due in a week from now. So get to work.” JBR dismissed a rather eager class that emptied the dreadful classroom within seconds.

As we ordered for plates of steaming hot ‘samosas’ with three bottles of ‘Campa Cola’, Munna, Pandit and I settled ourselves on the nearest table at Red Rose Cafeteria. The entire hall had quickly filled and cheers of laughters matched the barks of orders shouted out to the chefs. Yet one person had surreptitiously diminished into the oblivion; the only person who had the courage to test my patience. A two hour morning lecture had just ended and students were bound to feel famished unless they had had a feastful breakfast before coming to college. The odds of Naina Agarwal being fed royally weren’t too high as far as I knew her family. Not that they were all very cruel-hearted, but the fact the barbaric ones had complete dominance over the others. If Naina wasn’t here, where was she?

“Sameer, where are you heading off to?” Pandit stopped relishing on his ‘samosa’ as soon as he heard a chair screech.

“I’ll just be back.” I tried to excuse myself when Munna stopped me, “Your girlfriend is on her way, look.”

I tersely looked towards the door and quietly whispered, “Naina?”

“Where is she?” I sighed dejectedly.

“Right there. Sunaina Parikh.” Pandit raised his eyebrows towards her matter-of-factly. I rolled my eyes in exasperation, hoping to vanish any second from the prying eyes of this nuisance.

“Munna, Pandit, I really need to go. Please cover up for me.” I ushered, dashing for the door all the while faintly hearing their cries in complaint. However, I had complete faith in them and at their expertise in coercion. They were capable of handling her, but not her.

My face blanched when I checked every classroom, every washroom, every isolated place haunting with her absence.

“Where the hell are you, Naina Agarwal?” I huffed as my fingers shuffled through my tousled hair while the other hand rested on my hips. When I resolved to no other place, my heart immediately took me to one corner of the campus that held innumerable memories; some that made my heart yelp in contentment while others that left an incestuous feeling in the pit of my stomach. Anyhow, I knew where I had to go.

Amidst rows of textbooks segregated from novels, I found a lonely soul, studying diligently with textbooks on economics scattered around and her workbook open. Once I approached her, I waited for her to acknowledge my presence. After a minute of pondering upon, I cleared my throat, jerking her from her studious reverie.

“You?!” She shrieked and her eyes widened.

“Well, technically speaking, I should be the one castigating at you for surrounding yourself amidst these useless burdens rather than scrumptious food.” I flexed my hands before grabbing a chair. Twisting the backrest towards myself, I spread my legs so that my arms folded and head rested on them. I raised my eyebrows twice at her, perplexed at the sudden change in my behavior. A moment ago I had been engulfed in rage and for some mysterious reason, the obsolete emotion of merriment had resurfaced.

“I can sit wherever I wish to, shouldn’t be bothering you.” She spat, breaking my chain of thoughts. Scrupulously wiping the smile off my face, I cleared my throat, looking for a convincing excuse.

“I’m least concerned about you. But I’m certainly worried about this college and its earnings. Seeing your size, you would be a pretty hefty contributor in the cafeteria.” I scrutinized my gaze at her feeble state.

Over the span of three years, she had reduced considerably yet not by will. Her slender hands reflected bones more than flesh while her collar bone had accentuated as compared to how she was in school. Despite being well aware of female consciousness towards body sizes, Naina Agarwal was one such girl who didn’t pay attention to such unworthy details.

“Well, you don’t need to worry about that either. I’ll ensure no adverse effects in the economic gain of the cafeteria, or this college for that matter.” She answered tersely, before immersing herself back between her books.

I grunted in frustration, teeth gritting at my failed attempts. I drew in a sharp breath when Naina pursed her lips and interrogated, “How long do you plan on beating around the bush?”

“Excuse me?” I defended myself in bewilderment. The wooden chair soon found itself a meter away from me, while I stood up in shock.

She continued staring at me when I elaborated, “I’m not beating around the bush.”

“Oh please, Sameer. I know you too well.” She reasoned unknowingly when her hands stopped mid-way and eyes shot up to mine.

“Not enough, I guess.” I muttered acridly, hands balling into fists as a dreadful rigmarole of memories flashed before my eyes.

She shifted her gaze and cleared her throat, slowly whispering in a wavering tone, “What do you want?”

“Quite a few things; an explanation for starters.” I gritted through my teeth, anger blazing through my orbs.

“What?” She croaked softly, her face suddenly void of any color.

“Why are you so passionate about grabbing attention?” I questioned, only to receive a clueless expression from her.

“Sorry?”

“You should be, for several reasons.” I murmured under my breath once again before I regained control over my incessant ocean of emotions.

“Everyone; like normal people, head to the cafeteria for food after a two hour morning lecture.” I enunciated each word, with sarcasm clearly evident in my tone.

“No one would be stupid enough to spend 40 minutes of their liberty in an eerie place like this. And forego food. No one but you. Why?” I rested my hands on my hips while she fiddled with the hem of her sky blue checkered top. Her bell bottom denims danced in the air as her legs fidgeted in anxiety.

“I’m not hungry.” She said after a minute of pondering upon.

“Oh stop bluffing, will you?” I retorted, tired of her excuses.

Grabbing her books, I arranged them to one side despite her protests. Fishing out two ‘samosas’ I inched them towards her, commanding her to eat in a condescending manner.

She looked up at me in amazement, all the while shaking her head in denial.

“Thank you.” She expressed; taking a bite. Her eyes closed as she savored each bite, nibbling on the crispy crust as if it were her last. Was she really in pain? Or was this another pretense of hers? Leaving her in solitude once again, I crossed the threshold of the library, searching for peace once again.

Just when I had started doubting her condition, wrapping it with a blanket of concern, my fingers felt a familiar piece of paper. I straightened and the bitter memories came rushing past me, intensifying the wound she had already scraped. Composing myself, I wiped away the tears that had brimmed and pursed my lips. The determination returned, and so did my motive.

A week had passed as fast as a flicker igniting a lamp, and we found ourselves in front of an observant JBR, waiting for decent analytical reports on boring inflation rates. To his astonishment, Munna, Pandit and I had completed our assignment in within the deadline. I looked over to spot a smiling Naina Agarwal as she passed a weak smile with her report sitting idly on her desk. Returning the smile, I shifted my focus to JBR, who seemed to have curiously been taking attendance for a change.

“As you all may know, today is the submission date for your reports.” He announced, erupting a few melancholic cries from the back benchers. I laughed hysterically to myself for I had never imagined myself or Munna and Pandit to be excluded from this group. Casting a look back at Naina, my heart flurried uncannily. People changed for those who mattered, perhaps.

“However, I’ll drop in a twist for you, because I love your fallen faces.” He chuckled devilishly.

Snortingly, JBR spoke once again, “I will ask for your reports, but in reverse chronological order.”

Some gasps could be heard and a tensed Sunaina Parikh tried to grab my attention. When I had very artfully ignored her, she turned to her spoilt friends including Kartik Salecha, who mimicked the same reaction. JBR found an opportunity to roast, and we got a chance to share a few giggles.

“Sameer Maheshwari.” He called out once Munna and Pandit had handed in their reports with a dubious expression on their faces.

I walked towards him with as little confidence as possible and handed in my research paper. Once he scanned the pages, his lips curved downwards and eyebrows arched. As I waited with bated breaths, he looked up at me and expressed how impressed he was with a curt nod. Walking back to my seat with a victorious grin on my face, I met Naina’s eye and noticed the spark still evident in her orbs.

“Naina Agarwal.” The professor’s voice echoed after a while and my eyes filled with eagerness shot up. With a strong tenacity in her gait that rarely dwindled, she went up to JBR to hand in her report. Within seconds his eyes shifted from her report to Naina.

“Is this your work?” His stern voice caught everyone’s attention.

“Yes, JBR. This is my work.” Naina hesitated before answering. JBR took a long, suspenseful breath before repeating, “I repeat, is this your work, Naina Agarwal.”

“Yes, JBR.” Naina answered once more, the anxiousness killing her confidence.

“How dare you plagiarize and then lie to me on my face!” He hollered, startling Naina. I straightened in fear; at his tone, at her plight.

“P-plagiarize? JBR, I h-haven’t.” Naina stuttered, the tension building up.

“You have copied Sameer Maheshwari’s work, Naina.” Her steps faltered at this accusation when JBR called me over.

“Sameer, would you like to explain what you had discussed in your report?” JBR interrogated, eyeing Naina with suspicion.

“I had introduced the topic of inflation, explained the trends and had analyzed not only the various economic factors but had taken social and political factors into consideration too. And then I had concluded my findings with a personal viewpoint on it.” I turned my head towards Naina only to find her devastated.

She stood rooted to her spot dumbfounded, while a tear trickled down her face, causing an unwanted ache in my heart.

“B-but I had…” She managed to voice when JBR interrupted, “Written the same thing.”

“Any other excuses?” He asked rhetorically to which Naina tried to reason, “JBR, this is my work. I haven’t copied. I had used the resources available in our library to gather all my information.”

“Enough of your lame excuses, Naina Agarwal! This was certainly not expected from you. I thought you were a woman of principles who studies with diligence. But I guess I have been proven wrong.” JBR had announced his final verdict in dejection. Naina constantly pleaded but he took no heed, “Out of my class, right now!”

That one phrase echoed in my head, as a blurred bitter memory replayed before my eyes.

“Students, I had given you two weeks to complete this project. And I expect academic honesty here.” Shanti Ma’am’s austere tone spread across the room as she appointed the head girl and the most disciplined girl of our class, Naina Agarwal to collect all the projects.

I wasn’t certain whether I shared a strong friendship with her, however based on the interactions we had, I was sure she had been floored by my charm.

Her impervious reaction to every distraught, unorganized student’s plea had left me appalled. Naina had just flashed an indifferent smile to everyone while collecting projects; to those who completed them and to those who were about to fail.

As soon as she approached me, a slight tinge of crimson took over and she blushed. Smirking I looked at her and shuffled my hair.

“Sameer, your project.” She whispered softly, extending her hand. I looked at Munna and Pandit for approval and decided to explain the matter to her, “Umm Naina, Munna and Pandit had an emergency so I had to help them. You know how loyal I am when it comes to friendship.” I smiled slowly while she frowned. With trembling hands I submitted my project to her, anticipating her reaction. Her eyes widened as she cast an intense look at me. I mouthed a ‘please’ commiseratingly, hoping she’d help me. In one corner of my heart, I had a brimming feeling she’d support me no matter what, that Naina Agarwal wouldn’t let my faith waver.

She rushed to the back of the room and ruffled through all the projects for inspection and clarification. I bit my lip and my hands curled into fists, nervous at how the disciplined Naina Agarwal would react.

When she turned with projects in her hands, her eyes had hardened and her gait had straightened. Walking up to a hopeful Shanti Ma’am, she bent over to whisper something in her ear.

“Don’t worry, Sameer. She won’t expose you.” Pandit assured, patting my back. I nodded weakly, before turning my gaze back to Naina.

Fearing the worst, I saw Shanti Ma’am’s face ignite with rage as she hollered my name.

With hesitant steps, I faced her as she asked, “Sameer, is this your work?”

A sweat bead rolled off my forehead while I nodded in affirmation. She started at me with folded hands for a few long seconds before extending Sanjay Tibrewal’s project.

“Does this look familiar to you?” She raised her voice, startling Naina.

“Ma’am…” Naina tried to interrupt when the teacher raised her hand, “Not now, Naina.”

“Sameer, you’re aware that copying is strictly prohibited in school.” She commanded austerely.

“But Ma’am I haven’t--”

“Don’t try with your excuses, because we very well know who the real culprit is.”

Before I tried to reason again, she commanded in a louder voice, “Out of my class, right now!”

I walked inside the library at the sound of soft sniffs. She had slumped right beneath the window, sobbing as quietly as possible. My fists curled inwards while my lips formed a thin line; I had won, hadn’t I.

“How does it feel going through what I went through.” I spat, waiting for a reaction. She had her back faced towards me, but I felt the tension surge through the atmosphere around us. She stood up, wiped her tears and turned on her heel, her eyes blazing with anger.

“What you went through?” She probed hysterically, taking steps towards me.

“You had copied then, and you plagiarized today too. I wasn’t wrong then, and I haven’t done any wrong today either.” Naina vented out, pointing her index finger at me in accusation.

“Have you ever thought why I may have copied back in school? Have you ever thought that I too may be under some compulsion. But to you, all that matters is right and wrong.” I attacked, revealing old wounds.

“Have you ever cared to explain, Sameer Maheshwari?! The truth is that you never considered me your friend or anything more, because you never shared anything with me.” She flung her hands around as the shelves of books witnessed another one of our fights.

I took three strides towards her and clutched her shoulders, staggering her. Boring my eyes into hers, I gritted through my teeth, “Because you have always betrayed me, Naina. Betrayed me then. Betrayed me when you confessed that you...and betrayed me today.”

She closed her eyes as a tear escaped her right one. Clutching her hands together, she jerked herself away from my grip and hollered, “All you ever wanted was revenge, right? Had it? Now please leave me alone!”

She turned away, one hand on her forehead while the other resting on her hip. I scurried up to her and admitted, “Yes, I wanted revenge. And I did everything to get revenge, because I deserve the satisfaction by the pain you’ve wounded me with.”

“You, you and only you. I’ve never come across someone as obnoxious and as self-centered as you. Are you happy now? So just please leave me alone.” She repeated exasperatedly.

“What’s your problem, huh? What’s bothering you so much?” Fury raced through my veins as I blurted out.

“You. You, Sameer Maheshwari, only you. Because all you ever thought about was just yourself. All you cared about was just yourself. And you still do.”

Clutching my collars, she vented out as quietly as possible, “Lightning not only strikes on sturdy buildings but on trees too. Unfortunately one does not recognize nor understands the pain of the other.”

“You know what? I’m sorry, Sameer Maheshwari.” She sniffed, tears running incessantly.

“I’m sorry for siding with the right thing. I’m sorry for meddling with you. I’m sorry for--”

“That’s your problem, Naina Agarwal. All you see is right and wrong. But remember one thing, life isn’t just black and white. There are shades in between; emotions that you fail to notice or decipher.” My screams softened to whispers.

“That’s what I’m saying, Sameer. And I’m sorry for thinking you’d ever think about me. I’m sorry for falling in love with you. And I hate that. I hate loving you.”

“Well you know what, the feeling is very mutual.” I stormed out on her as I turned my back towards her and headed for the door.

In that moment my confidence and satisfaction whimpered a cry and somewhere in the corner of my heart hope flickered. Because I couldn’t repeat the last four words she said that constantly echoed in my brain.