Chapter 13:- Scraped Wounds

Some memories stick by forever 

“Excuse me?” I swiveled harshly to and drew in a sharp breath at the sight beyond me. The intensified scrutiny in his gaze that held mine for longer than usual; his orbs were no longer boisterous, but had reddened in fury with occasional hints of agony. The silkiness of his hair remained intact, but had been trimmed and left tousled from behind with only the fronts of his hair tickling his blood-stricken eyes that matched his tee. He had grown a light stubble that seemed to irritate him every second however simultaneously complemented his manly look too. His muscles had tautened, making his shoulders broader than I had ever imagined. He looked a head taller than me and I felt a little more intimidated than I should have. His breaths were short and quick, exhaling the much dreaded tension between us. His hands curled into fists as soon as I jerked mine away, an uncanny emptiness rushing through my veins. Within moments, I had been put onto an unwanted roller coaster of emotions and memories, as the wave of nostalgia swept freely. Just when each memory intensified for the umpteenth time, each incident hurt more than ever before, my mind alerted and my throat cleared. I straightened and the blur in my vision disappeared. I had changed. He had changed. Circumstances between us had changed. And I was long past Sameer Maheshwari.

“Excuse me? How dare you touch me?” I repeated with replaced fury in my eyes.

He chuckled hysterically before pulling up another implacable grim expression,”Why? Are you used to somebody else’s touch now?” He fired with a scowl.

I decided to contain myself, “This is no way to speak to someone. Do I even know you?”

“Forgot me so soon, Naina Agarwal?” He gritted as he inched towards me. In the chaotic corridor I tried to retreat, only to crash into people. Muttering a bunch of ‘sorrys’ to everyone around me, my gaze shifted back to his barbaric ones.

“How can you forget me? The Sameer Maheshwari that had brought happiness--oh sorry--ruined your life?” His voice became saltier and his words sharper than any sword. Shutting my eyes to block his face and my brimming tears, I retaliated astutely, “I don’t like to hold onto my mistakes.” With a sarcastic smile I added, “So I’m afraid I no longer know you...nor do I wish to.”

“How long will you run, Naina Agarwal?” His voice pierced through the murmuring noise while his cold hand clung onto my wrist yet again as soon as I had turned to leave. Composing myself I heaved a sigh and responded with utmost tranquility in my tone.

Turning on my heel I quietly smiled, “People run away from those whom they either fear or love too much. And I have nothing related to you. No attachment that would make my heart ache, no memories that I would want to treasure. Absolutely nothing at all.”

As he took steps towards me, Sameer probed, “Don’t I intimidate you?”

He hovered over me as I raised my gaze, “Equals don’t intimidate. And you are nowhere near being my equal.” I pointed my index finger at him before dashing past the now considered haunted corridor. And I knew my words had stabbed him with equal fervor. Because Sameer Maheshwari didn’t have the courage to clutch my wrist again.

Rushing to the nearest washroom, I ran past a few confused faces to the closest washbasin. In the beige colored washroom with lines of orange tiles plastered on every corner, I took a moment to observe myself in the rectangular mirror as my hands rested on either side of the washbasin. Hastily, I turned the tap on until water gushed through, just like my feelings. Washing my face a couple of times, I closed the tap and let the silence take over. Why was he here? Why after three years of coercion and tenacity did he have to break everything, shatter me into pieces? Stifling a few sniffs, I bit back on tears and quickened my breath. Sliding back the pair of round, black glasses on my nose, I stared at my quivering face. A loose strand of hair dangled in front of my eyes; frustratingly I berated at myself for I couldn’t hold dominance over anyone; not even my hair. Pushing it back, I slided the black pins that had been holding my hair back until it fell loose. I took out my hairbrush and rigorously brushed through the detangled strands of hair that reached till my waist, venting out every ounce of resentment coursing through my veins. Pulling up a ponytail I reprimanded myself. This was the obedient and disciplined Naina Agarwal everyone, including myself knew. Wearing them down was and would always be a horrible idea; a mistake. And I didn’t repeat mistakes, I constantly repeated.

Fixing the invisible creases on my maroon colored dress, I lightly brushed through the sleeves until my hand automatically stopped at my right wrist. Fervently touching it, I could feel my skin burn; under his intense gaze, under his authoritative grip, under my wavering reluctance, under the heart that had committed treason by defying the mind. Looking back at myself in the mirror, I promised I’d needed to remain focused. And I promised myself I wouldn’t let my thoughts wander elsewhere.

“Welcome students to the third and final year of your course in Business Administration. Today I welcome our new student who will be studying with us for the remainder of the year, Naina Agarwal.” The dean of the college announced as I stood with bated breaths.

I had only just taken the first step into the classroom when someone stood up, alarmed. Within seconds I caught notice and my shocked expression resembled his. There standing in front of me, with his jaw open was Sameer Maheshwari.

“Naina, please take a seat.” The dean offered with a gleaming smile on her face to which I slightly nodded. Unfortunately, destiny wasn’t in my favor, just like it hadn’t been since this morning. I settled myself on the only empty bench adjacent to his in the second row and automatically cleared my throat as my hands rubbed against each other. In that one hour of lectures, not for a single second did I pay attention. And not for a single second did his eyes hover anywhere else from me.

“Naina, you may want to grab some textbooks on your way out from the library. Let me call someone who can assist you.” Professor JBR instructed to which I obediently nodded. The name I dreaded got called out and I heard him groan under his breath. With an impervious look, I composed myself as the professor instructed Sameer to which he listened almost robotically.

“Shall we?” He struggled to maintain the sweetness in his voice as I gulped for the umpteenth time in that minute.

He responded with confusion before allowing me to move ahead. I tried to act as nonchalant as possible yet his gesture couldn’t stop me from blushing a little. Despite the monotonous turquoise pinafore paired with a white shirt and two pigtails dangling on each side adorned with white ribbons at the end, I made sure to fix imaginable creases just to look good enough to set a first impression. Just how he had as soon as he entered, one hand shuffling through his silky long hair while the other tucked casually in his pocket. After all it was Sameer Maheshwari’s first day in school. So I, Naina Agarwal had to look good.

In attempt to avoid the curiosity in my voice, I asked in a mundane tone, “You have come from Nainital?”

Despite being a hill station, Nainital was no less than an education hub and a fascination to those who had only heard of its scenic beauty. And I was well above in that list.

“Oh you are so intrigued to know more, aren’t you?” He smirked at me for the first time, making my breath hitch. As we curved around the corner into a different corridor of the school campus, on our way to the school library, I cleared my throat and denied otherwise.

“C’mon Naina.” He probed playfully as I admired his carefree nature. Sameer was as much of an extrovert as introvert I was. Hiding a small smile I nodded surreptitiously, to which he flashed a victorious grin.

“I’ve heard a lot about Nainital; it’s mountains, it’s lakes, and more than anything else, snow!”

I exclaimed in joy as I noticed his gaze. Composing myself I gestured the next turn as he bit a laugh.

“Very relatable. The mountains that speak volumes, the ripples of the lakes that cause a jolt within your heart, the snow where you wish to immerse yourself.” His thoughts seemed to have wandered off to a distant and I waited patiently.

“Have you always lived here, in Ahmedabad?” He asked out of curiosity after a few seconds.

“My entire life. And I’ve loved each moment.” I replied with my arms stretched out, engulfing my city in an invisible embrace as we walked down another corridor.

“You’ll like it too...this city never upsets anyone.” I smiled faintly as my words came out in whispers. He passed a genuine grin before stopping in front of the library.

“This way.” I leaded him inside to which he followed. The rather average sized room that could fit in approximately thirty people all at once, witnessed another pair of visitors. On the far end were several rows of shelves adjacent to each other with books stacked on one another. Other than the usual, the library had a small desk for the librarian; my father, and a couple more square sized tables arranged on either side. Sameer took a quick scan of the place before approached the racks.

“I still don’t get the purpose of a library; it’s just so boring and dull.” My smile fell and he caught notice of my reaction. Slowly mouthing a ‘sorry’, he casted an apologetic glance. That was the first time I realized how adorable he looked.

“It’s okay, Sameer.” I began in giggles only to find him join in too.

“You love the library, don’t you?” He whispered after a moment of strange silence.

My lips curved and I nodded in affirmation, “This is the one place where I feel I can be ‘me’. No pretenses, no expectations. Just sober tranquility. And silence of course. The feeling of utmost solitude yet an uncanny belongingness. I just--” His gaze lingered on for longer than usual and I felt a sense of nervousness shower over me.

“I went slightly overboard, didn’t I?” I began sheepishly.

“You want to become a writer, don’t you?”

“That’s my dream. I believe words hold more power than any random weapon. And who else would better understand it than you, who aspires of becoming a poet one day.”

His orbs widened in bewilderment and embarrassment as he queried, “How did you know?”

Taking out his necessary textbooks from the shelves, I responded with equal softness in my voice, “Some answers don’t need questions, Sameer. All they need is a bit of time and understanding.”

“But I’ve ran out of answers, and what’s left are only questions.” Sameer gritted through his teeth as his palms hit the walls around me and I found myself caged in front of his furious stare. I gulped as his gaze intensified and eyes lowered uncannily to my lips and back.

“W-what are you doing?” I managed to voice though only in stutters.

After an eerie pause, he lashed out; his voice barely audible to himself, “Why?”

His succinct response appalled me and I waited with bated breaths.

“Why, Naina?” He repeated.

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about, please leave me alone.” I commanded, tone stone-cold yet evident that it would melt soon.

I had only jerked out of his grip and had started towards the rows of books stacked on wooden shelves on the right corner of the room when he startled me yet again, “Pragati Vidya ka Mandir, Hindi Medium School, Ahmedabad. I’m sure this must have stirred something in your mind.”

He inched towards me from behind until his lips were right next to my ear, “Unless you’re forcing yourself to forget everything, all in vain of course.”

My lips quivered and a surge of adrenaline rushed through me. “Don’t you dare speak to me like that, Sameer Maheshwari.” I attempted to subjugate, my index finger pointing at him while my orbs raged in fury. His lips had formed into a thin line only for a second before they curved from one side to a sly smirk. “Ouch. Did that burn?”

The pain only seemed to have stung me before I rolled my eyes and smirked back, unexpectedly. “Not as much as a piece of paper.”

My retaliation had pierced sharply for his face had contorted in agony before maintaining his composure.

“Although my hatred for you will never diminish, but may I just know why, Naina?” His voice held sorrow and regret, but within moments the implacable anger replaced every other emotion.

My gaze had lingered on him for longer than usual and I felt a part of my heart melt, but within moments the mind had regained control.

“What’s the point of scraping wounds when they have no significance in our lives?”

“Because I loved you, Naina Agarwal.”

And in that moment, all the memories rushed past my eyes, and a part of me perished.