A life filled with illusions?
I struggled--like any other instance--to break free from his determined grip. And he, Mr. Faisal Khan, being his tormenting self, refused to budge at all.
“Leave me!” I ordered, trying to move his steady hand from my waist.
“Ummm… nope.” He disapproved my order which sounded more like a request to him. The next second I said something so unexpected that startled him from within.
“Pratap had promised his Ajabde for a future of togetherness, but Faisal and Roshni have no scope, just an uncertain and forced relationship which has no destined future.”
His jaw dropped in disappointment as he pulled his very arms which a few seconds ago had settled themselves, claiming authority. I had unknowingly sabotaged his emotions, and as much as I regretted this, I couldn't find the courage apologize. In order to hide my guilt, I changed my expression to anger and hurt- the two emotions I very well was used to now.
Our fans cheered in victory as Amaal Malik’s beautiful voice faded amidst applauds. News reporters bombarded us with innumerable questions; of which most revolved around our rumored relationship caused by the intense chemistry between us.
“Are you both dating?”
“How do you both feel seeing each other after so long?”
“How long have you been together for?”
The questions seemed so realistic and mundane, yet so distant from our near past. Who knew our real identities, our extraordinary relationship with super powers. Who knew we were no longer normal human beings….
A mature and sensible news reporter from ‘The Historical Bharat’ came up to Faisal and me and requested for an interview segment with her. The news channel and her, both looked pretty intelligent. She wore a primly steamed beige kurti accompanied by a maroon short jacket on top. Flat shoes, tied hair, and a bag hanging from one shoulder; she looked nothing less than a historian herself. I automatically looked at Faisal for an approving nod, and he smiled at me, forgetting all our previous disputes. His smile gave me a sense of nostalgia by reminding me of all those past interviews.
“Good Evening Ms. Walia and Mr. Khan. My name is Sheetal.” The news reporter introduced herself as the cameraman arranged the necessary requirements for our interview.
“Hi, Roshni please…” I corrected. I hated being addressed formally, it always made me uneasy.
“Faisal here…” he suggested with a flirtious smile. Seriously? She is probably in her mid-20s, Faisal! I thought out loud to him and reprimanded him for his incredulous behavior. You seem to be having problems with that...are you? He thought spoke back with a smirk that got on my nerves.
“I would firstly like to thank both of you for giving some time to this interview…” Sheetalji started by expressing her gratitude.
“ There are a set of questions I would like to ask….whenever you both are ready.” She finished with a warm smile, fixed her hair and straightened her cotton kurta. One more gaze and both of us knew we were absolutely ‘ready’.
“My first question is directed towards the both of you… in fact, you both may be very much aware of this question since it is a fan favorite.” She proposed, hesitated. We both nodded as she sighed in relief.
“So, are you both dating as the rumors state it?”
Before I could stop their rumors and imaginations by refusing and clearing their doubts, Faisal--as always-- intervened without any warning and started answering the question. From that moment onwards, I knew this interview, or at least the answer to this question would be a complete lie.
“What do you think, Sheetalji--did I get your name right?” He attempted to flirt once again.
“I suppose it's not our opinion as that would encourage rumors to further exaggerate. Instead, I feel you both should be the ones clarifying all our doubts.” She perfectly answered, meeting my expectations. She was a sensible and practical reporter, who knew her responsibilities and tasks. She was one of those people who valued their life and considered achieving something remarkable instead of those who get flattered by people.
Faisal shot a look at me, as a reaction to my thoughts. I decided to answer this question truthfully, when he interrupted again.
“Well, all that on-screen and off-screen chemistry our viewers praised us for did show some colors…” He answered, giving some hope to our ‘relationship’. This was it…. I couldn't keep our fans under any impression or assumption whatsoever; they were the ones who gave us the fame and respect, they do not deserve betrayal in return. Although this was Ajabde thinking, Roshni totally agreed. I knew he knew what I had planned on contradicting, but he didn't object; another trait which supported my chosen adjective for him - unfathomable. His behavior fluctuated so often, that it would leave me flabbergasted at times.
“He was just kidding, as always. We might be categorized as child artists, yet we know how to differentiate our personal lives from our professional lives.” I began by clarifying.
“Roshni’s absolutely right...this might dishearten many of our fans, but there is nothing as such between her and me. We have been good friends, and we hope to maintain this friendly relationship, but that is about it. We have had our ups and downs as friends, but haven't allowed that to deteriorate the quality of our acting, since we both are well aware of how much each episode means to you and to us.” Faisal finished with an optimistic smile.
These were the times when I felt proud of having him as my co-star, as my soulmate. I did not force my mind to divert my thoughts to some other topic, I wanted him to hear my thoughts. I knew he deserved the compliment, the one compliment in so long.
In that moment, I felt his heartfelt apology, his genuine confession. His voice expressed no other emotion but guilt….of hurting me, of losing me.
“I really did mean it Roshni, and I still do…. I regret my decisions taken in haste, I regret giving you so much pain. I once had the fear of losing you….but today, I felt as if I have lost you forever….” Faisal converted his emotions through his thoughts, words blanketed with guilt.
“Try putting yourself in my shoes, Faisal. The more you apologize, the harder it becomes for me and the more I distance myself from you. We never had a named relationship, yet your words have a huge impact of me. They did, and they still do. Don't talk about your fear of losing me, when we don't share any bond.” It was hard for me to think…about all those times without provoking my aura. It was surprisingly difficult to clearly think communicate with one person I spent so many endless months with.
“We both know we do not share an ordinary relationship, Roshni. Just give me a chance--”
“ I think we should focus on answering questions rather than discussing personal matters.” I slashed, changing the topic of discussion. My heart wanted to give him another chance, it wanted to trust him once again. But my practical mind refused to give in, by being over protective after all those experiences and incidents. I had the fear of getting shattered all over again! I had allowed one person to see and play with my vulnerability, had permitted one person to know all my secrets…..not anymore!
I averted my gaze back to the news reporter, who could predict our absence in the discussion. To avoid raising any further doubts, we both decided to pay attention to her questions, for she was one with sensibility and practicality. Her next questions revolved around our experience in working with each other and in a historical production.
“So, to end our interview, I would like to ask for your opinions of the recent debate and protests against the great Maharana Pratap and his consort, Maharani Ajabde. What would you like to say in regards to the growing controversies and allegations against his rule.” Her question caught my attention as I stared at Faisal in utter disbelief. When did this happen and what was this about?
Unable to come out of the shocking trauma, I thought- requested Faisal to query about the same. He seemed to be as surprised as I was and decided to know more.
“Sorry, but I'm afraid I am not aware of this debate. Could you please elaborate on this topic?” He admitted with a frown.
“That”s not an issue; in fact I respect your honesty. It is quite normal for teens like you to get so involved with your personal lives that you many times miss out the important current affairs of our world. People from certain villages in Rajasthan have been protesting against many of our brave Rajput kings and queens. Oddly, they have been questioning their loyalty towards their nation or maatrbhumi.” Sheetalji explained.
“But this isn't true, right? Our kings and queens have done whatever they could to protect their motherland from any invader. How can these villagers doubt them?” I probed.
“We thought about the same, which is why The Historical Bharat investigated into this matter. Apparently, the locals have come up with strong evidence against Rajput rulers. As we all know, Mughal invasion has brought a huge influence in our country. While some Rajas such as Maharana Pratap had sacrificed their own lives for their motherland, others had secretly joined hands with the Mughals; either due to greed for riches and power or fear of life threats.”
“And these villagers think that the valiant Maharana Pratap was involved in such a cheap and unfaithful act, don't they?” Faisal gritted his teeth, disgusted at such accusations. Anger rose through him and I immediately held his arm to calm him down. His anger--just like mine-- could result to grave and unexplainable situations with our reactive auras.
“Unfortunately they do…” the news reporter confirmed as she cleared her throat. “They have retrieved some documents and evidence, which summarize that Maharana Pratap was involved in maintaining a secretive alliance with the Mughal ruler, Akbar.” She hung her head down in shame, unable to accuse such a true freedom fighter.
“Where did they get this information from?” Faisal questioned after pondering for a while. There definitely was a fault at either reading or examining the evidence.
“This is what we still need to find out. This uproar began a week ago, in surrounding villages of Mewar. We are trying to get to the root of this argument, but the villagers refuse to share the origin of their sources. Which does raise suspicion against them…..but that isn't enough to ignore their protests.”
I became thoughtful for a minute before asking suddenly, “Why has the Maharanisa been accused?”
Sheetalji grew uncomfortable at my question and I knew this wouldn't be decent. What had these villagers come up with against the courageous Maharani Ajabde Baisa?
“Please tell us, Sheetalji. It is important for us to know.” I requested, trying to hide the fact that I wanted to know the false allegations against me.
“I hate myself for saying this, but the Maharani was accused of not only acting as a spy for the Mughals but also getting involved in a…… kind of relationship with…..”
“STOP!” I burst into a fit of anger. How could they think of these great freedom fighters as unfaithful betrayers?
“You wanted to know our views on this matter, right? Well, for one, I am ashamed of all those people who think of any ruler or freedom fighter of India to be a traitor. These people were the ones who gave us an independent India, and we’re taking their sacrifices for granted? I want to challenge every person with such a mentality, to imagine living a life dominated by an invader. Life would no longer be worth living, it would transform into a unbearable hell.” I spat.
“If these rulers wouldn't have sacrificed their lives and prioritized their motherland, these villagers wouldn't have been able to protest today, and we wouldn't be able to revolt. It is simply disgusting to hear people think in such a way. They accuse India’s unity back then…..I would like to question them about the present. Is India united? Are all these villagers united? Can we all become one and sacrifice lives for each other? No…….we can never be united if hold thoughts for our freedom fighters….the people who fought for our country.” Faisal added.
“I challenge anyone and everyone who accuse any of our leaders, to come and face us.” I threatened.
“Ignorance is no longer the solution to these matters, it's time we stop blaming the government for everything and take matters into our own hands!” He announced, rage in his eyes.
These accusations were against us, they were against our country. And we were determined to fight….till our last breath!
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