She left everything behind...and allowed heartbreak to engulf her into darkness once again, yet was that a mistake?
I felt nauseous as the flight descended to our ‘matrabhoomi’. After an eventful day, we were back in Mumbai.
“I’m so glad that we are back to normal!” Noor di cried in joy. ‘Normal’; a word that seemed so distant, so unreal. I gave myself a short hysterical laugh; I would never be normal again. After a short conversation with Maria Gold on what I was supposed to do, we bade goodbye in hope to return to London once again, with more certainty and determination. She requested me not to reveal anything about my ‘identity’, not even to the person I shared my deepest secrets with, not even Noor di.
“Mom is coming to pick us up…remember the excuse we made…about attending a press interview?” Di asked to which I nodded in confirmation.
“You may unfasten your seat belts.” The flight attended ordered as I eased and gave a slight sigh.
…
“Mom!” I screamed as I saw her waiting for us outside the Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
“Roshni! Noor!” My mum embraced us in a warm hug. How much I missed her heart melting hugs! The way she rubbed our backs soothingly sorted out everything.
“Get in the car, girls! I have made your favorite dishes at home. And then we all could go out for shopping…how does that sound?” My mum suggested in anticipation.
“Sounds great, Mom!” Noor di responded in equal enthusiasm.
“Roshni, are you okay?” Mum sounded concerned. I wanted to share everything, but I was forbidden to. I was bound by a promise made to Maria Gold. And being a Rajput in one of my lives, I would do everything to keep my promise. My main priority was to talk to him. And I had to lie to her again; something which I despised.
“Yeah mom, I guess I am just tired.” I tried to make an excuse. However, she did not look convinced.
…
“So girls, ready to go?” My dad asked as we finished our lunch! My favorite ‘chole bature’ failed to soothe me today.
“Dad, I have a headache today…can I stay back?” I asked rubbing my forehead filled with newly formed creases.
“Are you okay, Roshni?”
“Yea, just a bit exhausted. Some rest, and I’ll be perfectly fine.” I explained, hating myself for lying to my parents.
“Roshni, do you want me to stay back?” My mom offered.
“No mom, I am a mature girl now and I can take care of myself. You guys haven’t gone out together in a while, and I do not want to disrupt it.” I sounded guilty.
My mom stroked my face as she said, “You have never disrupted anything, my dear.”
“We’ll be back in a few hours, Roshni…and we are leaving one car behind, if you wish to visit your friends.” My dad informed as they left.
I was finally alone and was ready to complete my first task.
As I got ready, I observed myself in the dressing table mirror. I was going to meet him, the person whom I detested. I took a deep breath and tried to get my aura back. ‘Think of him, think of him’ I forced myself. And indeed, my aura glimmered again as my armor returned. This was me…the me I loved!
“Roshni, whenever you want your aura to disappear and turn back to Roshni Walia, instruct yourself to calm down and try to remember anything which gives you pain. I know this might be very difficult for you, but you have to do it…..for the sake of your family.” Ms. Gold’s voice echoed in my head as I tried to compose myself. After 5 long minutes of trying, I finally was able to hide my aura. However abnormal this seemed, it was truly amazing!
I wore my favorite pair of blue sneakers and stepped out, ready to face the challenge that lay in front of me.
“Driverji…um Faisal’s residence please.” I told my driver as soon as I sat inside our black BMW. His name still gave me jitters. My driver obeyed and revved the engine.
…
The car came to a halt with a screech which woke me up from my short nap. I found myself heaving a sigh... I did not lie to my parents after all; I was tired.
My heart beat increased as I climbed the steps to his house.
‘You can do this, Roshni…be brave…don’t let him weaken you!’ I mentally prepared myself before ringing the bell.
“Aunty…I’ll answer the doorbell.” A sweet and familiar voice offered from inside.
The door opened to reveal a person I trusted for so many years. A person who broke that very trust within a few minutes. Jannat. She seemed as surprised as I was. My hands curled into fists as anger rose into me.
‘Calm down….you can’t let everyone see who you really are.
“Roshni?!” Jannat exclaimed in disbelief. I stared at her with a fury burning in my eyes. She looked away as I scoffed, “Jannat! What an unpleasant surprise!” I wanted to be mean, as inconsiderate as possible! I wanted to crush each and every person who dared to hurt me!
“What are you doing here?” She bickered with a smirk on her face.
“I can ask the same question, right? What are you doing here? I imitated her.
“Who’s there Jann…” he left his sentence incomplete as he faced me. My eyes changed from hard to delicate for a second while I scanned him. He had changed. He started preferring fashionable clothes…which was more of Jannat’s style. His hair wasn’t curly anymore…it wasn’t the way I liked it…in fact he had started to spike them. I blinked away my tears as I lowered my gaze. Was I the only one who couldn’t move on?
“You?” He uttered harshly. Nothing could’ve hurt me more than that one word. His intense gaze had always annoyed me, however it wasn’t the friendly one he normally had. This time, it was filled with hatred and anger.
“What an unpleasant surprise!” He copied what I said a few seconds ago, breaking our eye lock. I smiled inwardly as I saw her. Jannat was annoyed…maybe jealous?
“Why are you here?” Faisal interrogated.
“I need to talk to you…” I started as I entered the house without his permission.
“Your apologies won’t be accepted, so it will be better if you..”
“Who said I was here to apologize?” I interrupted curtly. I gave a hysterical laugh and continued, “And why should I?” I questioned sarcastically.
“Oh yeah, I should apologize for something I never did, right Mr. Faisal Khan?” I demanded, realizing that this was the first time I called him by his full name.
“You and your assumptions…don’t matter to me!” He retorted approaching towards me.
“Faisal, relax!” Jannat held his shoulder to stop him from going any nearer.
“You should calm him down Jannat, because he doesn’t know when he crosses his limits!” I growled.
“Says who…” Faisal smirked, shoving her hand.
“I am asking you for the last time…why are you here?” he was losing his patience.
“I said I needed to talk to you..” I repeated.
“Go on then…”
“I need to talk to you…alone!” I announced.
“Faisal, is there something that should be hidden from me? And as it is, you guys are not together anymore, right?” Jannat tried to convince when Faisal gave a death stare.
“Jannat, could please leave us alone for a while?” He asked, shocking her.
“Faisal?!” She questioned with a frown.
“Follow..” Faisal ignored her and ordered me to come to his room. I decided to leave my ego and started following him to his room. His room…reminded me of his vanity room at our set. The walls were painted lavender, with a massive collage hanging on the front wall. That collage was a collection of numerous pictures; mostly taken during our MRP days. The constant clicking was worth it….he had pictures of all of us; some of which were very candid. I never noticed he had clicked so many photographs of Vishal, Yash, Jannat, Aashu di, Rajshree di, Shakti bhaiya, the set crew and…..me!
“Quick…say what you want to…I don’t have much time!” Faisal broke my chain of thoughts. He was clearly very irritated and impatient.
“That’s what I’m saying…you don’t have much time !” I whispered in anguish.
“What?!” He questioned in bewilderment.
“Okay, so here it is….actually, wait.” I stopped and went to lock the door. This information was very private and confidential, and I could not risk any of our lives. It seemed funny seeing how I still did everything with such authority.
I turned back to face is inquisitive look. I took a sigh and explained everything. From Noor di’s realization to my ‘new identity’. I told him about the ‘Provoking Past’, and how I saw him as Maharana Pratap. I revealed all the consequences related to the aura phenomenon. I explained how bizarre this might seem, but this was incredibly important.
“So, I have been instructed by Maria Gold to send you to London, so that you can get your aura enabled.” I finished with a sigh and waited for his reaction.
“You think I will believe you?” He asked quietly, glaring into my eyes. I hadn’t anticipated this…I thought he would laugh at me and brush off what I said. I thought he would shout at me…but he just stood there, those dark orbs signaling a thunder which awaited my presence.
In a blink of an eye, he clutched my shoulders and demanded, “Why do you think I would believe you? After all the you did….you think I would give you a chance to redeem yourself? You really think I would agree to the fact that you care for me….that you want to protect me?” He accused me with hurtful questions. Enough was enough! I couldn’t take this anymore. At that moment, I didn’t care if Faisal saw my true self or no…but I couldn’t tolerate this any longer. I gritted my teeth and folded my hands into fists.
“Really?! You really think I am doing this to redeem myself?” I retaliated.
“And why would I? I haven’t done anything I should regret, apart from being friends with you. You have broken my trust!” My aura started to glitter faintly, till I burst into tears. “No one has ever hurt me as much as you have, Faisal! I considered you my friend…my best friend! And look at what you did! You decided to believe Jannat; you chose her over me!” I sobbed. “Wait, weren’t you the one who cautioned me against her…she was the one who caused our first fight, Faisal! How could you be so foolish? How could you trust her over me?!” I stared and him but he refused to respond. The silence was killing me, and I couldn’t stand it any longer..
“Fine, I am the one who is causing trouble between you and your close ones, right?” I asked rhetorically, quickly wiping away my tears.
“Very well then, I did as I was asked. The decision is up to you. If you want your loved ones to suffer, then stay here with your gigantic ego!” I pointed at him. Without waiting for his reaction, I turned around and slammed the door shut!
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