Part 3:- Surrender

“Our love isn’t a compromise. But it’s one beyond lines.”  

“Get him, Ashi.” Ayesha called out in worry as I saw Randeep quicken his pace, his retreating figure getting blurrier each second. It was then that I realized the irony of life; he was slipping away, and all I could do was helplessly regret. 

“Randeep!” I screamed, only to be waved off by a casual shrug of hand. My vision blurred but my intentions resisted. With a shattering heart yet strong tenacity, I decided to follow him regardless of the probable consequences.

He made a turn so swiftly that within a blink I lost him. Perhaps for a lifetime. My eyes scanned the barren land outside our shoot location, hoping to catch some sight of him. All I could spot were a few spot boys wrapping up the various props while the setting sun simultaneously wrapped the day, slowly succumbing my hopes too. Just when my shoulders slumped in defeat, my lids lifted in astonishment as a hand grasped my wrist and pulled me towards it.

“Shh.” His lips mummed mine while his eyes reprimanded in volumes. The orbs that once held innocence deafened to livid anguish. A little pain from betrayal too, perhaps. The ocean of emotions caged me into a whirlwind of fear, guilt and an undying feeling; an emotion I hoped remained hidden. 

His hush had sent shivers down my spine, his husky tone still captivating as it held me hostage. A gust of breath escaped his lips and flung onto mine, a sensation filled with accusation. A lone tear helplessly escaped my eye, exhibiting all that I wanted to succumb. The physical pain he had been giving me wasn’t realized until much later, once I mustered the courage to avoid his austere stare. I flinched a second later, trying to loosen his grip while his gaze remained fixated on my struggling self. 

“Why?” His succinct question made me tremble. Less because of the intensity in his voice held that resembled his eyes. More because my secret no longer remained one, and it hurt him. Hurting him hurt beyond any extent. 

Before I could delve into his lingering gaze again, my authoritative mind took control and alerted. Clearing my throat I tried to reply with equal fervor, carefully dodging his question, “Leave my hand.” 

“I thought I had promised to never do so.” His words jolted an endless river of pain within me, a river with no precautionary barricades.

“Promises are meant to be broken. I thought that was the one thing we learnt.” I answered brutally. 

“You’re intertwining lives.”

“Aren’t you?”

A minute of silence followed as he loosened his grip, his touch still burning my skin. I looked down at the uncanny feeling of emptiness it brought, trying to decipher the familiarity I had gotten accustomed to.

Slumping my shoulders, I sighed, “Randeep, can we talk?” 

“I don’t see a point.” He shrugged nonchalantly as he turned on his heel. 

Holding him back, I spoke with a wavering voice, “Don’t you think you have a right to know? About...Vivek?” 

“I don’t want to interfere in your personal life.” He gritted his teeth.

With that, he stomped off towards his vanity room, while I followed him, like sunset to the bright rays of sunlight. Only I never wanted to engulf his aura, rather just blend into his hues. 

I walked past barren land, surreptitiously tumbling upon round pebbles, gently hurting myself with each obstacle, not wanting to break my pace. I repeatedly called out to him, in plea, in hurt, in anger, with authority. The tones of my voice wavered, and so did my heart. With each stomp, his fists curled and uncurled, his palms reddening with lines that made my brows arch in worry. 

A wave of cool air rushed past my face as a white cemented door opened, Randeep slamming it in front of me as soon as I took steps towards him. I heaved a deep sigh, mentally preparing myself for the worst case scenarios possible. With dwindling hope and trembling fingers, my cold hands firmly touched the rusted golden door knob.

“Randeep?” I whispered, almost inaudible to myself as I stepped in. He paced to and fro, his fingers shuffling his soft hair at occasional intervals. One hand remained inside his pocket, tersely hidden from my vision. I could observe his muscles tighten as tension rose between us, the silence killing every single cell. 

“Ashi, just leave. Please.” He commanded, succinctly pronouncing each word.

I huffed and took long strides towards him, until my arm reached his shoulder and swerved him around, “Have I lost the right to talk too, Randeep?” 

He smirked nonchalantly, looking away with his hands on his hips.

“All I want to do is talk. And you’re being unreasonably uncooperative by ignoring me!” I growled, hiding the underlying pain. 

“What do you want me to do? Laugh? Celebrate this moment? C’mon Ashi, I’m so happy for you and Vivek...no one could have been better than him. No one could’ve--”

“Stop. Just stop it.” I shunned his words, closing my eyes to avoid the tears. 

“Yeah, how do you feel now? Helpless? Because that’s exactly what I’m going through right now.” He spat, betrayal evident in his tone. 

My reddened orbs met his darkened ones, and in an instant, my growl faltered to a murmur. 

“So is this revenge? Is that what you wanted?”

“Not even close. But life doesn’t give us what we want, right?” Randeep snarled, leaving me speechless. Not because I didn’t have any reprimands left. But because I no longer had the courage to.

I bent my head and my shoulders slumped in defeat. His misery reciprocated as he sighed and rested his hands on mine, “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to vent out at you like that.”

I weakly nodded, unable to mouth anything, “I just wanted to explain.” 

A long moment of silence prevailed, and I knew it was his way of giving in. 

“My mom called up yesterday. Vivek’s parents had called us for a...a casual meet.” 

His eyes enraged in fury as he shot a glance. His lips curved inwards in frustration while he tried to maintain his composure, “Casual?” He managed to speak. 

His gaze burned my heart in an inexplicable manner, drowning it to a painful extent.

I stuttered dubiously, fiddling with my hands, “Y-yeah, just a-a--”

“You can lie to yourself, but not to me.” He whispered so softly while leaning in, that the sensations he radiated felt almost surreal. Ironically, only his breath feathered my face, the cool gust the erratic turmoil within me.

“It was a proposal, wasn’t it?” My eyes fluttered opened at his accurate assumption, heart thumping loudly at imagining his reaction. 

“Yes.” I stood astounded at my own tenacity, wondering how I had managed to speak with such confidence.

His eyes bore into mine for a few seconds, glistening, watering, gradually hardening with resurfaced redness. The glare in his orbs shifted to nothingness, as he turned on his heel.

“And what was your answer?” Randeep’s voice wavered as he whispered.

“I tried convincing mom. And then I said yes to another meet next week.” I replied blatantly, as if answering a series of interrogations.

“A meet or a date?” He fired again, clutching my shoulders.

“Suit yourself.” I snapped succinctly, suddenly feeling void of any guilt I was drowned in seconds ago. 

“You tried convincing your mom, and you got convinced instead.” He accused hysterically, laughing to himself. 

“At least he shows some kind of commitment.” I gritted, reciprocating the blame. 

Randeep hissed in equal anger, his face leaned in, dangerously close to mine. He tightened his grip on my shoulders yet I refused to flinch in pain. 

“Have I not?” He whispered, his tone glinting with anguish. I evaded his stare, unable to meet his gaze. 

“Have I not, Ashi Singh?” He repeated his question rhetorically, making my mouth dry. He jolted me by gripping my shoulders. I seemed impervious to the pain he radiated, feeling each cell in my heart slowly perish. 

“Not as much as Vivek, Randeep Rai.” I replied meekly, the last two words suddenly gaining a strange sense of intensity as I eyed him.

“You really think so?” He questioned once again, his allegation laced voice succumbing me under a blanket of guilt. 

“He’s shown that to me. To everyone else.” I justified, my lips curled in a thin line.

“Does he know your likes and dislikes? Does he understand your mood swings? Does he respond to your unasked questions? Does he know the littlest of your secrets? Does he feel your pain, your anxiousness, your fears? Does he make you smile whenever you feel low? Does he get restless each second you’re out of sight? Does he care for you each second you’re with him? Does he lo--” 

His eyes softened, a strange anxiousness settling within him. His fingers battled with each other, the sweat slowly slipping off his forehead in tension. I took two steps towards him with a sudden tenacity in my gait.

“There, that’s the difference. The presence of hesitation that he lacks. The certainty he gives that you don’t.” 

I turned on my heel, finally feeling the cloud of confusion clear in my head. The determination returned, and so did the normal heartbeats. I had taken a decision, my mind warning my heart of any impudence.

“Go. Go back to the man you love.” He voiced defiantly, his actions juxtaposing his words as his hand clung onto my wrist.

“I wish.” My voice cracked as a tear escaped. He had heard, for in an instant, he covered the distance and brought his face before my blurry vision. 

His face hardened as he studied mine, jaw aggressively clenching to suppress his emotions. 

“Why?” Randeep queried again, the succinct question starting to haunt my nerves.

“Why him? And not me?” His voice broke, the tears reciprocating mine.

‘Not everyone approves of this.” I admitted. 

“Who cares?” He brushed off the matter.

“I do.” I revolted.

“I do. My family does.”

“Ashi, it doesn’t matter--”

“It does. Until a few seconds ago, you didn’t even have the guts to own up to your feelings, Randeep!” I exclaimed, finally confronting him to the harsh truth.

“You really think words were needed for this unexpected confession, Ashi?” He questioned, wearing a hysterical expression on his face. 

“Sometimes words are needed to bridge distances that silences can’t.” I spoke teary-eyed. 

“Come to the point.” His voice had tersely hardened. 

“I knew. But I needed to hear from you. I needed to know that I wasn’t living an illusion. I needed to know that this wasn’t just a mess bombarding my head.”

His shoulders slumped and he clung onto my hands. Rubbing circles along my knuckles. For a second it felt as if he had lost the right on words, trying to convey his unsaid words through his soothing actions.

“It wasn’t just you, Ashi. It wasn’t. I did too. I was going through all of that too. The confusion, anguish, terror, everything.” He consoled.

“And I’m so happy all of this was for you.” A small smile creeped up to his face.

I couldn’t help wipe the silly grin off my face either as I felt him lightened.

“We’ve upgraded from ‘you and I’ to ‘us’, haven’t we?” He smirked, eyes glinting with genuine hope. 

“Hmm.” 

“You’re not convinced.” He cupped my face in his warm hands at my indefinite response. 

“You think we’ll work?” I finally asked the question that was holding me back.

“Why don’t you?” He seemed taken aback. 

“How are you sure this isn’t attraction, Randeep? How do you know this is..” I left my sentence mid-air, half hoping he would complete it.

“Love?” My heart sighed in relief as I felt a flush of color on my cheeks at hearing the emotion I was so compelled against. 

“You know I’ve had hook-ups before. But I haven’t felt this before. Never felt this…’jitter of heart’; as you would term it.” I let out a giggle at his comment.

“Honestly, though. You make me feel different because you are different. And I’ve started to like this different.” He lightly caressed my cheek, making me shiver under his touch. 

I lifted my gaze to see him hovering over me, the loose strands of his hair curtaining beyond his brows. His fingers continued to play with my skin, the sensation now starting to burn my insides.

“You sure we’ll never come across emotions like jealousy, insecurity? Never end with hatred?” I probed again, inwardly reprimanding myself for being so cynical and testing Randeep’s patience. 

With utmost ease he responded in one breath, “I can’t guarantee any of this.”

My heart sank at his answer and so did my gaze.

“But I can definately assure that we’ll get through this. Together. Just like--”

“Sameer and Naina.” My heart rejoiced as I felt an erratic heartbeat; a heartbeat of ecstacy and love. For the one who stood in front of me with a sheepish grin on his face.

Present Day 

“I love you. Please don’t leave me, Sameer.” A tear trickled down my face, as I tightened my grip on him.

And then my breath hitched.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, heaving a sigh in relief and happiness. His shoulders eased and so had his anger, perhaps. He bent his head to cuddle into my hair, igniting the raging fire in the pit of my stomach. I closed my eyes, taking in each feeling that moment brought. Everything was perfect. Absolutely perfect. 

Randeep eyed the surrounding cameras flashing towards us before slowly whispering in my hair, “I love you too much to let you go. Too much to let you go without taking me with you. Too much to let my fingers detangle from yours, Ashi.”

A tear escaped my left eye as the trickle burst into serene joy.

“I won’t Naina. Not until the last breath of my life.” Sameer faltered his steps to face his Naina, his fingers still intertwined with mine.

A smile broke on our faces as our heads touched in perfect synchronization. Maybe out of habit. Perhaps because the pretense had finally taken a bow in defeat.

“Dramatic much?” I whispered under my breath, moving my lips only barely to avoid being caught by the cameras. 

“Couldn’t have been more. I guess Randeep was better than Sameer.” He hushed with a grin lingering on his lips. 

Reciprocating his expression I confessed, “I’ve fallen for both. Take your pick.”

A burst of laughter erupted between us just the instant the director shouted ‘Cut!’ and the shutters went down. 

Amidst the commotion around us and the chaos within our swarming hearts, Randeep had only started to lean in. I had only started to tilt my head upwards in equal fervor. Our eyes had only started to close in a world of our imaginations when someone cleared her throat. 

I heard a groan in frustration while Ayesha constantly coughed, trying to grab our attention. Walking towards her, I noticed a worried arch of eyebrows instead of an expected smirk plastered on her face.

Before I could question, she answered, “Vivek”, pointing towards the door. And before I could swivel to face his fury, a soft hand touched mine, his long fingers knotting with mine as he offered, “Won’t you introduce me to your friend?”