Chapter 16:- Blurs

Because half-truths are worse than lies 

Once I managed to shift my gaze from her frivolous orbs raging with a whirlwind of emotion, my eyes took in the disturbingly unfamiliar surroundings. I walked in hesitantly, taking meticulous steps, my eyes wandering all over. The change seemed like a crashing wave, that had perhaps tumulted the lives of everyone; including the one important to me.

The curtains that once swiveled in an hopeful sky blue now startled in a defied grey. The living hall felt empty, with just one rocking chair against one corner and a stark, mahogany dining table that had reduced to a four seater, as if abandoning the unwanted fifth person. A sofa set of the same color, decorated with cushions of a similar grey. I scanned the walls with a turn of head, only to find a few framed pictures expressing happiness, with an absence of one. Everything around me had succumbed to lifelessness. Empty. A dark abyss.

I turned on my heel only to find an exasperated girl on the verge of anger, with her hands crossed sharply in front with her head slightly tilted to one side. A few of her long locks danced on both sides while the uneven ends had been pinned messily to the back. I took a moment to observe the unfamiliar Naina Agarwal standing in front of me while she huffed. I shrugged cluelessly, my face in a defensive frown.

“What do you think of yourself? A police officer?” She barked.

“And you’re doubting my identity because…?”

“Because you’ve seem to rummage this place as if it belongs to you.”

“It does belong to someone who is my own.” I spoke instinctively, causing a rage of emotions within her. She exhaled a nervous breath as her hands fisted tight in the intensity of the moment. With an erratic heartbeat I took three strides towards her, lifting her gaze to meet my disturbed orbs that had suddenly found solace. Dubiously, I raised my hand to cup her soft face, radiant with faintly visible scars. Lightly rubbing over them with my thumb, I felt her flinch before accustoming herself of the old touch. I blinked back memories that threatened to rush past me while I saw her lips quiver. In the heat of the moment she seemed to have raised her head towards me while my heart requested me to surrender myself to Naina, to forget the past and start afresh.

Bringing my other hand to her face, I slightly bent with timorous lips as I bobbed my head in question, “Hmm?”

The lids that had closed in contentment, fluttered open at the supposed erroneous reaffirmation. Her glistening eyes hardened behind her round, maroon framed glasses while her lips thinned into a firm line. Walking past me, she sat on the dining table and cleared her throat, attempting at diverting her concentration from me.

Observing the contriving distance she had drawn, I walked towards the adjacent chair and adjusted my position. She surreptitiously caught my gaze from the corner of her eye. I lifted my eyebrows in question again to which she exasperated in defeat. “It did. I did.”

Her words pierced through my heart sharper than a sword on a wounded body. My face contorted in pain before composing myself. Her shoulders seemed to have relaxed in complacency while she shook her head in amazement. Looking up she spoke sternly, “Why are you here, Sameer?”

“I think I’ve answered your question before, Naina. I guess you should start eating almonds to sharpen your--”

“Haven’t we had enough already, Sameer?” She interrupted with anger coursing through her veins.

“Memory.” I completed, dropping a pencil.

She slid her glasses and clanked them onto the dining table, as if riddening herself from an unwilling burden. Taking her head in her hands, she rubbed her eyes as if trying to obliterate every memory possible that involved me.

“Naina…” I attempted at consolation only to get intervened again.

“Why Sameer?” She lifted her gaze to reveal her tear stained face.

“Naina, I…”

“Why are you after me? Why are you so hell-bent? Despite everything that happened between us?”

“Because I can’t afford to lose you, Naina.” I finally confessed, unable to keep it inside me any longer.

She looked up, startled. Failing at mouthing anything comprehensible, I caught hold of her hands in mine. Hers felt ice cold, hardened by the wounds life had tormented her with, ragged lines on her palm that determined her fate.

Clutching her hands tight I continued, “I tried hating you, but it seems impossible. I can’t. And I can’t behave like a stranger when we’ve shared so much. So many memories.”

“They’re not enough, Sameer. They’re just a reflection, a ripple that fades away with each wave we encounter.”

“And yet ripples never leave. They return, each time, stronger than before. Consistent, reliable, loyal, peaceful.”

Her curved lips understood that we weren’t talking about waves anymore.

“Until the tide changes.” She completed, contradicting my hope.

Sighing I complained, “Can’t you be optimistic for once?”

“I’m being practical.”

“You’re being cynical...towards everything.”

“That’s not true.”

“Naina.”

“Sameer.” She loosened herself from my grip and straightened herself. “Stop living in an illusion.”

A wave of adrenaline surged through me as I stood up. Grabbing her shoulders impulsively, I bore my eyes into hers. Huskily whispering I accused, “Don’t you want this, Naina?”

“This is exactly what I’m talking about.” She smiled hysterically, impervious to my actions.

“What?” I fired.

“Our impulsive nature. That leaves nothing but misunderstandings between us.”

“And what do you suggest is the reason behind this.” I grew impatient, bombarding her with questions.

“We’re not equals, Sameer.”

“This again, Naina.”

“What I said the other day was out of anger, out of forced hatred for you. What I say today is the truth, Sameer. We’re poles apart. Not meant for each other.” She grimaced, her voice breaking.

“You might have heard, opposites attract.” I defended.

“Not everything that’s written is true.” She argued.

I grabbed her hands again, lifting them close to my lips. Raising my gaze towards her serene face marred with agony I expressed in anguish, “Forget all of this, Naina. Don’t you want to give us another chance? Of a future of togetherness?”

“I don’t--I can’t Sameer.” She chided.

“Why?” I reprimanded.

“Because I love you, Sameer. And I can’t hurt you again.” A tear trailed down her face, while the wound inflicted on my cheek too.