Change of perspective...was the story still the same?
She left…..she stormed out of the room within a blink of an eye, and I had no chance to react. She left….again. Just as I did that unforgettable day!
‘Get yourself together, Faisal!’ I scolded myself at feeling guilty. ‘Why was I guilty…when I did no wrong!’ I thought frantically.
My bedroom door flew open as it revealed a restless Jannat. I reprimanded myself for letting her stay. Soon, I rubbed my forehead in anticipation, preparing myself for the nuisance that stood in front of me.
“Faisal! Whatever that happened right now, was clearly intolerable!” She complained, claiming her authority on me.
"What's wrong, Jannat?" I asked, irked at her behavior.
"What's wrong?" She repeated incredulously, mocking my question. "What do you mean by that, Faisal? She just came in and conversed with you... privately...what should I infer from that?" She demanded.
"Jannat, don't create such a fuss about it..."
"A fuss?" Jannat interrupted, laughing hysterically. "Has she changed you again, Faisal?" She asked with cold eyes. I gave a frantic look to which she cleared my doubts.
"You know what she has done to you, to your mother." She reminded, enraging me. "That wretched..."
"Jannat!" I stopped her from continuing any further. She looked taken aback from my behavior. "Not another word...about her..." I threatened. A moment of silence followed.
"You...still have feelings for her? After all that she has done..." Her voice broke, tears brimming. I hated people who were emotionally weak. Crying at every small thing seemed...annoying.
"Jannat...that's not true..." I began.
"Please, Faisal!" She signaled me with her hand. "I knew it...all along!" She concluded with realization.
"You both..." She left her sentence incomplete as she wiped her dry tears. Without wasting a second, she turned and left...just like my other best friend left a few minutes ago.
I grasped my head in between my knees in frustration...why was everything going out of control?
I decided to go over everything that happened within this one hour.
Her unexpected arrival... was indeed very surprising. She looked the same...long wavy hair on both sides, eyes smudged with black kohl. A pair of shorts with a loose t-shirt and no makeup, she looked...free. Unlike me...designer clothing, spiked hair...this wasn't me, at least not the way I remembered myself. She gave me the liberty to by myself, whereas Jannat turned me into one of her kind. “Roshni"I shivered at her name. She still spoke with the same authority and confidence. Unknowingly, my lips curved into a smile, a natural smile. I never wanted to hurt her, I would rather hurt myself. I admired her, her confidence, her humor, her personality, her sincerity, the way she understood others, her carefreeness, her aura! Never had I thought that she would intend on hurting my mother; a matter I'm still unsure of. Did she really...since that incident, I never talked to my mother about this. The situation was too delicate and awkward. But what if...
"Mom?" I observed her preparing lunch. She seemed so content and satisfied with her life.
"Faisal! I made your favorite dishes today!" She revealed, excited. I took a deep breath and decided; it was now or never.
"I wanted to talk to you about something." I spoke grimly.
"Is everything alright?" My mother approached, sounding worried. She caressed my face as her eyes held nothing but pure concern for me.
"I wanted to talk about something...related to Roshni."
I noticed her straighten herself before confirming, " Roshni Walia?" I nodded in agreement.
"Mom, I want to keep this very straightforward. Did she really insult you?" I stared at her panicking figure at the question. Immediately, I sensed some trouble. Acting had helped my inspecting skills quite a lot.
"Mother.." I made her sit on the nearest chair, and crouched to her level. "Please speak the truth...you don't know what difference this would make."
"Faisal...I'm sorry!" She confronted with the words I feared. My heart sank as she continued.
"Jannat came up to me one day...and I could clearly see that she was jealous of you and Roshni together. She wanted to separate you both, and she thought of creating a misunderstanding between you too. She asked for my help...and I did; not because I shared some enmity with Roshni-- she is a very sweet and polite girl--but because...Jannat was someone from our kind." I frowned as she hesitated.
"She was...Muslim, whereas Roshni was...Hindu." She finished, ashamed. I somehow found my balance, walked to my room, and shut the door as constant apologies could be heard from my mother.
I slumped against my bed and my eyes blurred. The world swirled around me as I refused to accept the truth. She was right all along. Our fight rooted to our religions. I was disappointed...disappointed at my actions, disappointed at our mindset. This is what we were; a bunch of people divided into factions. I turned to observe the collage hanging on my wall. All those pictures with Roshni reminded me of something totally different. She was someone who didn't care about religions, but about trust. Trust...which was no longer in her vocabulary list...because of me. Why couldn't we break these barriers and become one...after all we were all part of the human race...the same ‘kind', as my mom explained. This is what started wars, which created destruction; not only to our so called communities', but also to our Earth; our mother Earth. How I wished we had no specific religions; just one belief...towards the betterment of our planet. How I wished we just had one aim in life, to maintain peace and keep everyone happy. How I wished emotions like jealousy to never occur in anyone.
I reverted back to my contemplation of thoughts, before my conversation with my mother.
And then, Jannat came along, in a totally different guise. She started to worry for me, which she never did during our MRP days. In fact, she didn't even speak to me properly. It was mostly I and her who conversed. We didn't talk for weeks, and Jannat got a perfect opportunity to get closer to me. But then, she came back...I wished I didn't say those harsh words! It was then that I regretted everything I did to her, since the last day of shoot. Those dialogues seemed like memorized lines to everyone else but us. We knew that these carried a lot more. I hated her...more than anything else in the world...because she hated my mother! My mother held a lot more significance than anyone else. And I left her...alone. Suddenly, all the moments spent with her bombarded me, leaving my heart crippled. I had promised her, that I would never leave her; never lose my faith on her. I blamed myself for whatever I did...to her. And I sat here...in utmost shock...retorting myself...
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