Chapter 8:- Uncertain?

The set has become a second home to me. I felt so complete, portraying Ajabde’s character. Though I had acted in a variety of roles, the feeling of being Maharani or currently the Rajkumari Ajabde was simply indescribable. Whenever I looked in the mirror, or the scenes we shot, it looked so realistic, as if this was me. There were times when I wondered if this was only me or if everyone on set went through the same.

Life had become so simple for the past few weeks. I suddenly realized that my routine had become so organized. Coming to set on time, acting diligently along with a few pranks--mostly by Faisal and me-- finishing the day by gathering together, clicking selfies and checking our social media updates. I was overwhelmed, seeing the love and fandom for us. TRP rates were touching the skies and people loved watching Pratap and Ajabde together. The minute an episode finished, fresh comments started to fill our Facebook page. Sharon di never missed to ask our viewers on their opinions for each episode; and our fans were more than pleased to express their thoughts.

Faisal and I started shooting many scenes together, of which most involved eye-locks. It was easy for both of us now, we were prepared and knew that there would be one in every episode. After all, Ajabde was Pratap’s wife.

We were currently shooting the sequence where Gauhar Jaan was to attack Pratap, thus getting bitten by a vicious snake. Although Jannat and I had a short break while Faisal was busy shooting his scenes, I stayed back on set and offered my help wherever required. Our cameraman was the most contented as he had to shoot from a range of different angles. The thing I liked about acting was the liberty it offered. You blended into a character and acted as if everything was real.

“Cut!” the cameraman snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Great Job Faisal!” he complimented. “Take some rest. We will resume in an hour.”

“Thank you sir!” Faisal replied. He looked exhausted.

“Hey!” I greeted him cheerfully as he neared towards me.

“Hi! How come you’re here?” he questioned. “Didn’t they give you a leave?”

“Yeah, but I stayed back!” I replied sheepishly.

“What about Jannat? Wasn’t she with you too?”

“She was, but she had to leave due to some emergency” I explained.

“Emergency, it seems..” he gestured sarcastically.

“When will you stop taunting her?” I asked, slightly exasperated.

“When will you stop defending her?” he probed in the same tone.

I opened my mouth to revolt but immediately shut it back. I had no words to answer his questions. Silence filled around us as he continued.

“Let’s go and sit somewhere… I’m really drained out right now.” Faisal offered. I responded with a slight nod.

…

We found two chairs and some snacks. Faisal took a sandwich and I went for some mango juice.

“She is my friend…” I reverted back to our conversation we had a few minutes ago.

“More than that, she is the closest friend I have… if someone says something about her, then I will-”

“What will you do?” Faisal interrupted.

“Look, I know she is your best friend here, but… you have to understand.” He reasoned.

“What do you want me to understand?” I asked anger rising through me.

“Roshni, I can’t keep up a conversation with you if you refuse to listen.” He looked up at me.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. I knew I really needed to work on controlling my temper.

“What do you want me to understand?” I repeated but in a more calm tone.

“Okay, so now I think we can resume our talk.” he smiled.

“I am just trying to say, that you must think before you start defending your friends. And I am not referring to our conversation on her. Just in general.”

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

“I know you are very loyal, especially when it comes your friends and family members. I just worry….I don’t want anyone to take advantage of your faithfulness.”

“How is that related to Jannat’s friendship with me?” I asked. I wanted to know what he thought of me, of my friends.

“I have no problems with Jannat personally. It’s just that… you two are totally opposites. She doesn’t want to mingle with everyone, well certainly not with us a lot. She has a bad habit of lying, and she can’t control any secrets.”

“And… me?” I hesitated. He stared into my eyes.

“You are different. You love to make new friends, and I could see that on your first day of shoot. You know what to keep inside and what others should know, and most importantly; in fact the foundation of any friendship, you do not lie.”

“So what’s your conclusion?” I really liked to hear what he thought of me. But we hadn’t ended it yet.

“I am just asking you to not blindly trust her… not in all cases. I am not telling you to break your friendship or anything…”

“Stop it Faisal!” Anger rose through my veins.

“How could you say that? You have no rights to talk about my friend like that. I agree that she has some bad habits, but certainly doesn’t make her a bad person. I have known her since childhood, and I am sure I know her better than you!” I pointed at him.

“You know what Faisal!” I continued before he could say anything.

“You have hurt me, emotionally. Thanks a lot!” And with that I stormed out towards my vanity room.

…

I ran and ran till I saw the familiar view of my room. My legs were aching but I did not care. I had to distance myself from him, as much as I can. I climbed up the steps in the building and darted towards the door. Slamming the door as hard as possible and I leaned against it. How could he say that to me? I thought we were good friends. Maybe more than that. How could I possibly forget that we had just met a few weeks ago? He probably considered me nothing more than a random co-star. These were the assumptions made about every popular actor; I was the foolish one to disregard them.

I calmed my racing heart and forced myself to quiet down the rage in me. As I walked towards the mirror in my room, I saw my reflection. This was me. This is me. I recalled all the memories Jannat and I shared and smiled unconsciously. Why did he say that? What did he see that I could not in all these years? In such an instance where I found myself in darkness, there was only one ray of hope. There was just one way to clear my doubts.

“Hey Roshni! How are you dear?” My mum picked up the phone.

“Good Mom, how are you?” I tried to sound indifferent.

“Roshni, is something wrong?” My mom never failed to sense something like this. I decided not to hide it from her any longer.

“Mom, I had a fight with Faisal.” I explained the incident elaborately. She knew my loyalty towards Jannat as well as my new ‘friendship’ with Faisal.

“How could he say that?” I finished, venting out everything that I had inside me.

“Look Roshni, I am not saying that you are wrong, but he isn’t wrong either.” She began soothingly.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Look, we all have some bad habits. But they can be changed if determined. I am not blaming Jannat’s upbringing in this. But Faisal can see what you cannot because he isn’t very close to Jannat as you are. He observes the things you knowingly brush off. He told you his opinions because he considers you as a friend. He doesn’t want you do get hurt later, and so he worries for you. Do you get me now?” Mom explained.

“Hmm...” I nodded. “Thanks mumma! What would I do without you!”

“No worries at all! Now go and talk to him and sort out all your misunderstandings.”

I walked back to our set; it was my turn to shoot some scenes. But before that, I had to sort out our fight. I had to save our friendship.

My eyes searched for Faisal as he spotted me. He came up to me, and before I could apologize…

“I’m sorry Roshni! I’m extremely sorry! I did not intend on hurting you at all.” He stared, ashamed at the ground.

“I’m sorry too.” I apologized. “ I should’ve listened to you and your opinions. I’m sorry for storming out like that.” I expressed my regret and soon met his eyes. A glint of happiness followed by anxiousness.

“So...are we still friends?” he hesitated.

“Sure we are!” I beamed.