Chapter 13:- Regrets...

She was broken....the distant future looked too blurry and indefinite to ignite any hope...

I slumped in my chair, bright light bulbs shimmering at me. On the first day of shoot, they made me feel like a big film star. Today, they bothered me, forcing me to come out of the dark. My head started throbbing vulnerably, making me grab for some water. Gulping down huge amounts of it, the cool water silenced the burning fire in me, providing me with some peace.

Two of my best friends, or so I thought, betrayed me! 5 hours ruined my life. I tried to cry some more, but the tears refused to come out. Suddenly, my phone buzzed, revealing my mom’s serene face. How would I face her, yet alone talk to her. I was her brave tom-boy daughter, whom she always had faith in. And look at me now, I was broken emotionally, and the pain was indescribable. I let my phone ring, until it changed to a missed call.

-Mom,

Sorry, could not pick your call as I was in the bathroom. Can you please come and pick me up?

Love you Mom-

I sent my mom a message, not being able to talk to her. If I did, she would immediately notice something amiss in me. Mothers had this telepathic connection with their children, they could sense when their kids were depressed or happy.

Quickly wiping my tears away despite knowing they would soon make their way out, I looked at the lock screen on my phone only to find him. A picture of me and Faisal.

“No!” I whispered to myself in disappointment. I had to change everything. I did not want to remember the person who hurt me in every way possible. Even if it was the smallest thing as a lock screen wallpaper. I unlocked my phone and browsed through pictures, in search of a one which did not involve him or her. Out of 1,245 pictures, merely 20 pictures were of me and my family. Did my life revolve only around Faisal and Jannat? I chose a family picture with my parents, Noor di and I, smiling happily. I remembered taking that picture on the day we got to know I had been selected for the role of Ajabde. Who knew my happiness wouldn’t last long. Who knew my world would shatter in front of my eyes…

“Roshni?” the faint squeak of the door reached my ears. There stood the person who always supported me, through thick and thin. Her shoulder length hair danced with the evening breeze, eyes showing concern and worry.

“Mumma!” I ran in to hug her tightly. Slowly, tears burst down my face, making me look as broken as I did a few minutes ago.

“What happened, darling? Why are you crying? Are you sad that you are leaving the show?” I gave no response, just listened to her soft voice and took in the sweet scent of the perfume she was wearing.

“It is okay dear!” She continued, assuming I was upset because the show was taking a leap. “I am proud of you, Roshni! I can see how skilled you have become! I am proud to tell everyone that I am Roshni Walia’s mum!” She admitted, while cupping my face.

“Really Ma?” I asked. My aim in life had always been to fulfill my mother’s dream.

“Yes Roshni!” With that my mom embraced me into another hug.

“What’s wrong Roshni? You have worked on other shows too, but I have never seen you so depressed…” I expected this to come. Nothing could escape her.

“Never had I expected this to happen with me, Ma! I feel useless!” I broke down in front of her.

“What happened? Tell me, Roshni!” My mother’s face turned into a worried frown.

I narrated everything, from Faisal’s accusation to Jannat’s confession.

“Never had I expected two of my best friends to betray me like this!” I sobbed.

“I had never regretted anything, Ma. Never in my life. But I regret being friends with such people! I regret being part of this SHOW!!!” I screamed, venting out all the anger left in me. Life seemed worthless to me. I slumped back against the wall, staring at my hands blurrily, at what seemed like an hour.

“Why did this happen to me?” I continued, teary eyed.

“What did I do to anyone to deserve this? I have only tried to be friendly and helpful, Ma! Then why with me? Why not with anyone else?”

My mom crouched beside me and pulled me into a hug.

“It’s okay Roshni… everything happens for a good reason. You will soon see that too. You have done no wrong, dear! Instead, Faisal and Jannat have lost such a loyal friend like you…. And they will surely repent for it!” she consoled.

“Let’s go home.” Mom whispered. I gave a slight nod and started packing my bags. I opened the door to my vanity room and let the cool breeze touch my face. I breathed the familiar air, to which I recognized as my second home. It reminded me of the fun-filled evenings we had everyday, the long busy days of shooting under the sun, the constant shout or scream from the set crew, the crunchy junk food eaten everyday, the re-takes, and most importantly the amount of pictures and selfies taken each day to please our viewers as well as to make memories. Along with all those memorable moments came the harsh truth. The reality that changed my life...completely.